Miss Representation (trailer)

Article: What Size Are You, Really?

What Size Are You, Really? The Truth Behind Vanity Sizing

- Lisa Marsh

Like most new moms, Erin Correale wants to whip her wardrobe back into shape.

Correale has it easier than most. At 38, she’s within 10 pounds of the weight she’s been since her teenage years. But her clothing size isn’t.

“I wear a size two in Ann Taylor, a four in Banana Republic, a six in Old Navy, a four at Coldwater Creek and a friend told me about Chico’s, but told me I would have to look at a size zero,” she says. “I never like size zero—it’s encouraging people to be waifs. That doesn’t make me feel good.”

Sizes zero, two, four and six all for one woman? Is Correale lost in the looking glass, growing and shrinking at every turn like Alice, or is there something seriously askew with the sizing of clothing?

It’s no mistake. The American apparel industry has created an intentional system of “Vanity Sizing.” The increasing use of the smaller sizes—a size 12 in 1970 is now in the size four-six-eight range—is meant to make consumers feel better about buying clothing.

Standards—or Lack Thereof

When it comes to sizing, there are no universal standards. A woman with a traditional hourglass figure with 36-24-36 measurements can wear anything from a size zero to a size ten, depending on the brand and whether it’s sold at the designer, contemporary, junior, bridge or mass level.

The only standard that does exist is to con the buyer into believing she’s smaller. Over time, sizes are getting roomier, allowing women to believe they can still squeeze into a more desirable size two, four, six or even eight.

“At this point, sizes are meaningless. They’re more relative than anything else,” Bill Ivers, chief operating officer of MSA Models told YouBeauty. His agency specializes in providing fit models for designers and brands.

“Sizes are not standard by design,” he explained. “It helps brands be unique and offer an edge over the competition. Brands are looking for brand loyalty and if last season you were an eight and this season you’re a size six, that’s a sales tool. We all look to apparel to make us look good, feel comfortable and confident.”

Even celebrities fall victim to the need for vanity sizing.

One actress cold-called Robert Verdi, style director at FirstComesFashion.com and a celebrity stylist who regularly works with stars like Eva Longoria and Kathy Griffin, and asked him to wardrobe her for multiple appearances during an awards season.

Her publicist said the actress was a size 12, and because they were working on a quick turnaround of less than three weeks, Verdi couldn’t ask designers to make anything custom, so had to rely on pieces designers had in stock.

“We looked at pictures of this woman and I called her publicist back and asked her, is she really a size 12?” he told YouBeauty. “The publicist insisted she was a 12.”

When Verdi and his team packed the dresses up for the trip to Los Angeles, “we snuck in some 14s, 16s and even some 18s.”

Though Verdi told the actress that everything was a “size 12,” the actress “wasn’t happy,” he said. She ultimately wore several of his picks, but one of the dresses was altered to fit by making it six-to-eight inches shorter. The fabric was then added as a panel on the back of the dress so the “size 12” would fit.

“She didn’t want to be bigger than that in her head. A number means so much to so many people,” he added. That's really too bad since the numbers are pretty much meaningless and there are no standards in place.

This lack of sizing standards wasn’t always the case.

Until January 20, 1983, the U.S. Department of Commerce and the National Institute of Standards and Technology offered specifics for the sizing of apparel with body measurements for men, women, junior women, young men and children. These standards began in the late 1940s as a byproduct of the necessity for size-standardization in military uniforms during World War Two. Committees that included textile manufacturers, designers and retailers worked with the Department of Agriculture to determine these sizing standards and all adhered to it.

The program was discontinued in 1983. The measurements were not keeping up with the typical American body, which was changing due to better medicine and nutrition, along with an influx of new and varied ethnic groups. Sponsorship of these standards was assumed by private industry. That marked the start of sizing’s new Wild West, a lawless, volatile environment that continues today.

An End in Sight?

“Each designer has their own vision of what they imagine as the ideal person to wear their clothing,” explained Tanya Shaw to YouBeauty. “Designers will hold true to what they believe.”

Shaw is the founder and president of MyBestFit, a sizing system that scans your body for about 10 seconds and then provides you with sizing recommendations for styles from over 30 brands like the Gap, Old Navy, Talbots and J Brand.

“We help customers decode sizing and that makes shopping as simple as uniformity,” she explained. “We should find clothes that fit our bodies, not sizes we like to hear.”

The company currently operates one scanner at the King of Prussia Mall in the suburbs of Philadelphia, PA, but will be adding 45 more locations in fall 2011. Though a Personal Shopping Guide from MyBestFit in King of Prussia will only provide resources that are in that mall, you can enter your identifying code on the company’s web site to find what other sizes and brands will fit you when shopping at another location or online.

“When you cut the confusion out, consumers buy more,” Shaw said. “They have told us the conversion rate [from shopper to buyer] of 100 customers is normally 20 percent. With MyBestFit, in some cases, it’s as high as 90 percent. Imagine if you went into a fitting room and it all fit—your shopping time is more productive.”

Cricket Lee is taking it a step further and attempting to get standards back into the lexicon of apparel makers and designers. She founded Fitlogic, a patented sizing system that fits by body type and size. Though it is now accepting pre-orders online for fall shipments, Lee has spent five years struggling to bring it to market. Because each brand has its own sizing, designers and apparel manufacturers weren’t interested.

Her labeling categorizes women in three shape groups—circle, hourglass and triangle—and the Fitlogic label carries the traditional size plus a number for one of these categories.

“The truth will set you free and if you know you’re a size four and shape three, you know a size 4.3 in FitLogic will fit you every time,” Lee explained. “Women don’t have the time to mess with trying on sizes. It is debilitating to walk into a fitting room with 10 pairs of pants and have nothing fit.”

“It’s progress and it will happen,” she added. “If this can reduce return by 75 percent, how can designers and retailers ignore it?”

MSA Models’ Ivers is skeptical that day will come. “There is no universal fit and I doubt that there ever will be. If five people take measurements of the same person, there will be five different measurements,” he said. “Consumers have to learn to adapt to the fact that today you’re a size zero and tomorrow, you’re a four.”

While new mom Correale admits she “loved being a size two at Ann Taylor, I didn’t really believe it.” Shopping certainly isn’t any easier. “I don’t know how to shop other than taking three sizes into the fitting room or having someone run back and forth for me. It never works.”

Shopping woes aside, maybe Lee is correct and the truth will set you free. If knowing that a number on a tag is meaningless will free you from getting hung up on sizes and allow you to focus on the best fit for you, maybe it's not such a bad thing after all.

Dumb in your 20s

I was looking for inspiration online for a blog piece about biological clocks ticking away (the tick tick ticking gets louder the more pregnant women you're around) and/or how to cope when a long term relationship ends. Somehow I stumbled across this article; which does not involve (or inspire) either. However, some of the points were too funny not to share (and hopefully I'm not the only one who has a "Oh crap! That's TOTALLY me!" moment of realization when reading. 

Enjoy. (My personal thoughts/feelings are italicized)

20 Dumbest Things About Being In Your 20's

Your 20s are just an extended period of adolescence with credit.

The only thing worse than being an awkward 13-year-old at a junior high dance with your own parents as chaperones is finding yourself a decade later, equally awkward, with no one at all to chaperone you through this weird new thing known as "adulthood."

While your 20s can certainly be exciting, they're not all they're cracked up to be. For the first time ever, you are left to make your own life decisions while battling the ever-present fear, crippling confusion and constant flow of failed expectations.

Whether you're 45 and can look back and laugh, or 25 and can giggle while simultaneously curled up in the fetal position, check out the following 20 dumbest things that inevitably occur when experiencing the "joys" of your third decade of life. –Tina Smithers, age 29

1. You discover that a college diploma doesn't mean squat:

Fact: More than 40% of college students graduate owing over $20,000 in student loans.

You're thrust into college at an age where you barely know your ass from your elbow, let alone what you want to do with your life. So you end up paying out the wazoo to study something dumb, like philosophy or religious studies, because it sounds cool. Four years later: Congrats! You have a nice piece of paper, no professional skills and thousands of dollars in debt.

This was my ultimate, "oy vey" moment of the article. Hey some of us like our religious degrees thank you very much. I may not be working in the "Religious Studies" field but it got me a gig in Higher Education somehow.

2. That darn "Quarterlife Crisis" hits when you least expect it.

Fact: The average age of those first diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder is around 25 years old.

That awkward, anxious, uncertain period of time that hits as you transition from adolescence into adulthood is known as the "Quarterlife Crisis" — a trendy term for the freak-out that comes with the realization that you, and only you, can accept responsibility for your decisions. I know I suffered from the QLC because I was given a book about it as a graduation gift, which I read thoroughly in between teary, frantic phone calls to my father and the occasional dosage of Klonopin. But no amount of drugs, friends, fancy cars or books can save you — you simply plow through this twentysomething purgatory as best you can. Though if you must, feel free to purchase Quarterlife Crisis: The Unique Challenges of Life in Your Twenties.

3. Dating is a joke.

Fact: Two-thirds of twentysomethings spend some time living with a romantic partner without being married. And then some of us lived with romantic partners before we even hit our twenties...but I realize I'm often an exception to the rule.

Dating doesn't exist in your 20s. If you're not busy hooking up with everyone and their mom, you're diving headfirst into a relationship with the first person who will put up with your sh*t. Unless you take the time to really get to know anyone (including yourself), and find out exactly what it is you want in a partner, you'll wind up in an unhappy relationship, battling your own personal Weinergate.

I've never been one to be "hooking up with everyone and their mom"...and I just ended a two year relationship (the first in many many years). So while I don't fit into their "theory" necessarily I still don't know what it's like to date in my 20s.

4. You don't take care of yourself in any shape or form.

Fact: In 2008, approximately 27% of people aged 18 to 34 did not have health insurance. Hooray for being damn lucky and having a job with benefits!

Note to Invincible Man: The chain smoking, heavy drinking and excessive amounts of sun exposure will catch up with you. Your Speedy Gonzalez metabolism will eventually slow down and you'll have to swap the pizza and beer for fruits and vegetables. And strawberry-flavored edible panties don't count.

5. The place you call home is no more than a disgusting, dumpy squalor.

Fact: One-third of people in their 20s move to a new residence every year.

Unless you're living with your parents, what little place you can afford is merely a step above a cardboard box that comes equipped with a couple of obnoxious, lazy a-holes known as "roommates." The dishes pile up and you refuse to clean, because you always clean, and hey, it's the principle. The good news is that when you do finally get your own place, you'll get to furnish the cockroach-infested squalor with hand-me-downs and plastic junk from Ikea!

And people wonder why I don't want roommates.

6. You're not as smart as you think you are.

Fact: A person's brain is not fully matured until at least age 25.

Just because you graduated from high school and you pay your own bills, it doesn't mean you have the world on your own personal brightly colored string. You may as well take your youthful arrogance and go invest in some diapers, because You Know Nothing, a fact which you will repeatedly be reminded of throughout your 20s.

7. You work way too hard for too little pay at a crappy job.

Fact: People go through an average of eight jobs in their 20s, more than any other stretch. Okay let's count....since I graduated college (because workstudy jobs don't count) I've had....five....six jobs.... Guess I'm right on track. lol.

Once you do choose a career you think you will be able to tolerate for the next 40 years, you have to start from the depths of hell. Whether an intern, an administrative assistant or somebody's personal slave, starting from the bottom isn't exactly glamorous. Sometimes you don't even get paid. While interning at a popular tabloid rag, I worked grueling hours for free, fetching coffee and transcribing interviews. The only thing I learned was how to avoid carpal tunnel. This is called "paying your dues," and it sucks balls.

To give credit those six jobs are about 1/2 were "crappy jobs" and the other 1/2 in my "career field"

8. You think you're fat and ugly.

Fact: Nearly 30% of people who got Botox injections in 2009 were under the age of 30.

You hate your big nose, butt chin, love handles, forehead wrinkles, etc. In truth, you look as good as you're ever going to look, so embrace it. And if you think you're fat now, just wait until you're a 50-year-old sloth with a beer gut and age spots.

9. You're broke, but you spend money on stupid stuff anyway.

Fact: We are the first generation not projected to do better financially than our parents.

You can barely make ends meet on your pathetic entry-level salary, so you sign up for a credit card. Having an emergency card is a nice thought, but applying for five credit cards is not worth the free coffee mug. I didn't get the memo and wound up with a coffee mug, some useless handbags and $8,000 in debt. The interest made it impossible to pay off, so I cashed out my 401K in order to dig myself out of the financial suckhole, and now I have no retirement savings. Lesson? The minute you start seeing credit as "free money," you're in trouble. It's easy to swipe but a pain to pay off.

I plead the fifth.

10. You have reckless sex. A lot.

Fact: 86% of unmarried people aged 18 to 29 are sexually active. Men and women in their 20s have among the highest rates of STDs out of any age group.

You're new to this whole adulthood thing, which is why you're so good at making bad life choices, like obeying your yearning loins when it's last call at the bar. So if you're going to express yourself sexually with half of Chicago, wear a condom. They help prevent the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, including the herp, the clap and the unwanted pregnancy.

Wrong. But then we've already established I don't "hook up" with people. Hooray for not getting STDs.

11. You still behave like a kid, so no one takes you seriously.

Fact: Most Americans believe that "adulthood" begins at age 26. So why am I 28 (and a half) and still don't feel like I've reached "adulthood"?

Blink-182 had a point: "Nobody likes you when you're 23, and you still act like you're in freshman year." What the hell is wrong with you? Much of the crud you pulled in adolescence is no longer acceptable in your 20s, but you're not an adult either, no matter how much you think you are. So in turn, no one really takes anything you say or do seriously. Sad face.

12. The dreaded draft could happen at any time.

Fact: In case of a national emergency, every male aged 18 to 25 must register for the Selective Service, otherwise known as the "draft."

We haven't used the draft since the Vietnam War because we have an all-volunteer military. But in the event that the government calls up the draft, the burden will fall on dudes in their 20s. So practice those squats and push-ups now.

13. You drink too much.

Fact: Rates of binge drinking are highest among those aged 18 to 25.

Young adults often seek reprieve from this tumultuous decade by drinking their emotions through a big plastic funnel. Whether because of stress, boredom, insecurity or simply the aching desire to get laid, twentysomethings get out-of-control tanked far more than any other age group. The onslaught of stupid beverages like Four Loko and silly get-sloshed-quick challenges (you've been iced, bro!) don't exactly foster responsible drinking, either.

OMG! No, no, no. I drank too much my freshman year of college...have lost a number of braincells because of it. A few months back a friend came to visit. I called the FB album of pictures "Hello Luke, Goodbye Liver" because we drank so much and I felt every ounce. Then this last weekend I had another friend come out. We didn't drink NEARLY as much, but still stayed out late...and I still felt it. I realized it's not the booze that I can't do anymore so much as it is the late nights.

14. You can barely rent a car, and if you do, you have to pay for your age.

Fact: In 2008, approximately 27% of all U.S. car crashes involved drivers under the age of 25.

You learn to drive at 16 — that's nine solid years of behind-the-wheel experience! Yet you are stuck paying insane fees if you want to rent a car and are under the age of 25, because apparently, you are not to be trusted. Then again, it could be because you drink too much.

15. You can't take back those stupid, impulsive decisions you make.

Fact: 36% of those aged 18 to 29 have at least one tattoo. Yea. So what?

Twentysomethings are fickle beings, so if you love Tweety Bird now, you might not love him at 40. Therefore, it might be best not to get the dumb yellow cartoon tattooed on your forearm, unless you've given it a lifetime of thought. I proceeded to get a large, emo-esque star tattooed on my wrist (see above) when my boyfriend and I broke up. Maybe I wanted to deflect the pain from my newly broken heart, or perhaps I was acting out, but either way, I can't help but wonder what the hell I was thinking.

Okay. Yes, I have a tattoo. No, it isn't of a cartoon character or other similar stupid image. No, I didn't get it because of, while with or after a boy. I got it because I wanted to. It's an image I know I can live the rest of my life looking at. It's an image I spent years contemplating before getting. And it's located in a place that won't stretch drastically with weight, age or babies. Sorry if yours is.

16. Your friends are jerks, and you neglect the important people.

Fact: Between the ages of 15 and 25 is when most people establish lifelong friendships.

Many of your buddies are suffering from their own mid-20s meltdowns, so in turn they behave like selfish, jerky turdheads. You don't really care, so long as you don't have to sit alone at the bar. Meantime, you often neglect those who really matter, who love you no matter what — your family and friends who stick by you through all the boozy blackouts, broken hearts and bad hair days.

If any of my loved ones read this and agree that I'm neglecting you. Please smack me upside the head. I have tried to 'weed out" the jerks and people just taking up space in my life so that I have time for those that mean the most. Hopefully I've succeeded.

17. Crazy, crippling, ridiculous insecurities are around every turn.

Fact: Of people 20 to 29 years old, 41% feel significantly pressured or have "almost more stress than they can bear."

Full of firsts (first job, first apartment, first raise, first bounced check), this third decade of life can come as a shock. Nothing (I mean, nothing) is ever how you plan it. You're probably not going be married at 25 and making six figures at 27. You might get laid off or knocked up or terminally ill. There's no way to tell, but you focus so hard on the destination, you miss the journey entirely.

Well, at least I know I'm not alone with my disappointments.

18. You're overly obsessed with social media and your imaginary friends.

Fact: 48% of 18 to 34 year olds check Facebook right when they wake up.

Facebook, Twitter and FourSquare — these are the only links to your old life, your friends from high school or college. You hang on to this time period desperately, spending more time than you like to admit voyeuristically obsessing over everyone else's seemingly better, more interesting lives. But no one posts photos of their breakup or that time they got fired. Their lives suck as much as yours does! Besides, most of these people aren't even your real friends

Can someone explain to me what FourSquare is? I'm still confused. I thought it was the game with chalk and a big red rubber ball we played in the street and had to dodge being hit by cars? There's an online version now? 

19. You're a whiny, spoiled brat.

Fact: Nearly two-thirds of young adults in their early 20s receive economic support from their parents. The number of twentysomethings living at home has risen by 50% since the 1970s.

Twentysomethings often take their parents (and everyone else around them) for granted, thanks to a false sense of entitlement because it is so haaaard being a young adult these days. So they sob into their smartphones and iPods and MacBooks, when they should really be slapped for being such silly, clueless tard monkeys.

20. You freak out over turning 30.

Fact: At age 30, you're older (and wiser) than 42 percent of Americans.

Attempting to survive your 20s can be so startlingly horrific, it would only make sense to get psyched about your 30th birthday, right? Yet so many twentysomethings obsessively dread entering this newer, gentler, kinder decade, when we should all take solace in the fact that the 30s are when the fun really starts. (Or so I hear.)

Nope. Not me. Sure there are things I thought I'd have and be doing (or done) by the time I reached 30 but I'm not freaking out about it. I'm not rushing to fill a void before life goes "downhill". I look forward to 30. I will be waiting there the eve of my birthday with open arms waiting for the older-wiser me.

Sources: NY Times, ABC News, NCBI, QuarterlifeCrisis.biz, LA Times, U.S. Census Bureau, Online Schools, CBS News, Hallmark Research, AAD.

Coming Out Fat.

A friend recently posted a link to this article called "Guys Who Like Fat Chicks" (from the Village Voice) on her facebook page. I was a little hesitant about reading it but I trust her judgement and most times agree or like the other articles she posts. 

Here's a link to the article.

Okay. So I'm not sure why articles always feel like they have to parallel their cause with coming out as gay....but this article doesn't linger on it for long. It is nice to see an article that addresses the "FA" and not just BBW's with pride. A little on the long side (and pretty heavy on a single interviewee) but a good read nonetheless. 

I'm always excited/interested to read articles addressing the topic of plus size (the term I prefer to identify with) people (not just women) having normal relationships. That we (and the people who find us attractive) are not freaks of nature, we're not abnormal or something to be hidden and only talked about behind closed doors.  

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I come from a family of curvy women - not all of them are plus size, but there are few without hips, butts, breasts and other curves. 

I was destined to be a curvy lady. 

At my smallest (obviously post-puberty) I was a 14 and at my largest (a few years ago) was a size 28 (at around 280lbs). Today I'm around 260 and a size 26. 

I'm not ashamed. I'm not trying to hide my body behind muumuus and oversized sweats. 

It's true I say I "carry my weight well" because I think I do. I dress stylish and appropriate and have had people assume my weight/size was smaller than what it was in actuality. 

It's also true that I'm currently in the middle of a "28 Day Challenge" in which I'm trying to have more exercise in my daily life. I'm not doing that because I'm ashamed of how I look. I'm doing it so I can feel healthier, so I can battle the Seasonal Depression that knocks you over when living in such a grey part of the country.

*     *     *

I've had boyfriends, when I was, from one extreme of weight to another. None (that I know) of them came out as "Fat Admirers" but obviously they liked a little extra something since they were dating me. Most of them were "breast-men" and as you can see I've got them covered there. 

Even with a fair number of beaus growing up (five in the first year and a half of HS before dating my "high school sweetheart" the remaining two years) I did struggle with self esteem issues around my weight. After my HS sweetheart and I broke up I went through a depression that really took it (the wanting to date) out of me. I just didn't feel attractive or desirable. He didn't tell me I was fat, or give me an ultimatum to lose weight. We just broke up (like you do when you're in high school).

For the most part (after highschool) I just wasn't interested in dating. I did toy around with internet dating here and there. I remember one date I went on. He took me to see the (newer) Planet of the Apes. (Yippee?) I didn't even bother asking him up afterwards. I said "Thanks, have a good night" and closed the car door.

Then there was the guy in college. The rebel who drank vodka out of a 7-up bottle during our English Freshman seminar. The smooth talker who, when I was upset with him, would spout lines from cheesy romance movies (I'm talking "You complete me" level). The one who as soon as I slept with him wouldn't give me the time of day....yeah not a highlight in the Men-In-My-Life.

Then somewhere a few years ago things changed - I opened up to the idea of dating again and as a result met my sweetie. (See our love story here). 

*     *     *

I think it's wonderful that more and more people are "coming out" as appreciators and admirers of curvy/plump/heavy/plus-size women and men...let's not forget those of us who appreciate a stockier built man. 

I'm a plus size woman. I like men with meat on their bones. I like someone who enjoys going out and trying new food and doesn't expect me to eat a garden salad when there's pasta on the menu (I mean really now I'm 1/2 Italian!)

It bothers me sometimes when I see/hear friends express feelings about being unattractive. Everyone is desirable to someone. I truly believe that you just need to embrace yourself and see yourself as deserving and desirable before you can expect others too (or at least before you can expect to start noticing that others do already)

To close I just have this to say. 

If you don't understand how or why someone is attracted to me.... Just don't worry about it, no one's making you take me out in the first place.

Fearless Women

I was lucky growing up. Not only did I have a family full of strong and independent woman but they also encouraged me to read and gave me a number of books with strong female characters. I am so glad more and more authors are giving young girls more female heroes and women to admire. 

*     *     *

Picture Books About Fearless Women
By Pamela Paul

In the 1980s, biography-loving schoolgirls had to content themselves with predictable accounts either of a few favored first ladies like Dolley Madison (with the inevitable ice cream associations) and Abigail Adams, or of the courageous nurses Clara Barton and Florence Nightingale.

Remarkable women, for sure. But in the last decade especially, authors of children’s biographies have put their “Free to Be” ideals to paper, not only writing sophisticated history, but also exploring the lives of women quite different from the usual girl-crush suspects. Two new biographies, the bittersweet “Queen of the Falls,” written and illustrated by Chris Van Allsburg, and the rollicking “Nurse, Soldier, Spy,” written by Marissa Moss and illustrated by John Hendrix, are admirable and enlightening examples.

In “Queen of the Falls,” daredevil heroism comes unexpectedly from a former charm school teacher, 62-year-old Annie Edson Taylor. Widowed and poor, with few marketable skills, Taylor had the inspiration to barrel (literally) over Niagara Falls as a way to fame and fortune — an early-20th-century David Blaine. She was the first person to perform the stunt, and remains the only woman ever to go over the falls alone.

Best known for fiction, in particular his Caldecott Medal winners “Jumanji” and “The Polar Express,” Van Allsburg adeptly turns an oddball historical footnote into an accessible adventure story for young middle-grade readers. The language is straightforward, and Van Allsburg’s trademark sepia-toned pencil drawings are, as always, superb. The book’s only shortcoming is its failure to explain what could have been going through Taylor’s mind, though perhaps such folly is ultimately unknowable.

“Nurse, Soldier, Spy” tells the fascinating story of another nonconformist, the cross-dressing Civil War hero Sarah Emma Edmonds, who, under the name Frank Thompson, joined the Union Army at age 19, becoming a battlefield nurse (“something only men with the strongest stomachs did”) and later a spy. Moss, best known for her winning middle-grade series, Amelia’s Notebook, is a lively prose writer, and Hendrix’s illustrations inject humor into what is actually a serious, if somewhat improbable, subject.

Edmonds’s life story (described in an 1865 memoir, “Unsexed; Or, the Female Soldier”) will appeal to a wide range of readers — girls hungry for heroines, Civil War buffs, adventure story lovers. The only question is for what age. Moss treats Edmonds almost as a transgendered man, calling her “Frank” throughout the story — though still using the feminine pronoun. It’s a decision that may confuse less sophisticated readers (and perhaps merits the publisher’s recommended age range of 9 to 12, though the book would otherwise work well for 7-year-olds). Refreshingly, however, “Nurse, Soldier, Spy” doesn’t shy from historical specificity, naming battles and addressing issues like desertion and treason.

Both books are well researched and include historical afterwords as well as photographs of their subjects — women who deserve this newfound recognition.

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Questioning Interracial Relationships

I came across this "article" [blog] last night and it really sat uneasy with me....Here's the blog first and then I'll rant afterwards.

*     *      *

"Have you noticed a recent surge in Asian men and white women being together lately? Bruce Lee and Linda Lee Caldwell were one of Hollywood’s first Asian man/Caucasian women celebrity couples … and that was in the 60s! So what’s changed?

The question is, why is this interracial combo not as widespread as other interracial combos?

There is definitely a higher percentage of Asian women with white men than ever before. Why?

The above video [I took it out - visit the website to view video] was taken by video crew who asked random and predominantly Asian guys and girls “Why Asian girls are attracted to white guys”. Stereotype… stereotype and more stereotype!

According to this video, most respondents described Asian men as being too shy or unassertive. The woman also stated Asian men were too effeminate and even too short! Apparently this is turning Asian women away and they are beginning to look elsewhere.

Asian stereotypes have been created by society in general. Enough articles have been written about what I would like to call stereotypical racism in the Asian community – for instance, how Caucasian men actively seek an Asian woman because of their exotic looks and supposed submissivenes?. How many have this so called Asian fetish or yellow fever?

Asian females, on the other hand, have constantly been disgraced and labeled “white-washed” women busy trying to climb the social ladder by their own communities and are finding more acceptance with races other than their own.

So what about the rise of interracial relationships between the Asian man and Caucasian woman? Is it that Asian men are fed up with their female counterparts and that they take revenge by dating Caucasian women? (just a thought) Or just that there are fewer Asian females in their dating pool so they are expanding their own horizons?

My conclusion is that maybe it’s not that at all. I think people should be intelligent enough not to allow trivial stereotypes to conform to their preferences on who to date. Why do you think there is a rise in the Asian man-Caucasian woman interracial combo?"

*     *      *

First, I think I need to remind the author that the title of this article and the first sentence point that he is going to discuss Asian men-Caucasian women relationships....but instead talks about Asian women and Caucasian men....not the same....yes, same cultural/ethnic combination but he didn't go into the article saying we're going to discuss the rise of Asian-Caucasian relationships. 

Mildred & Richard Loving

Next, why does there have to be a reason other than people are finally becoming more accepting to the concept behind interracial relationship? That we're in a place today where people fall in love with a person and not a race? Why does it always come down to a fetish or rebellion? 

People forget that it hasn't been that long (historically speaking) that interracial marriages have been allowed in the United States....only 44 years. Think about it. How many of us have parents older than 44?

Or maybe it's because I'm dating a man who identifies as Asian-American (a child of an interracial marriage) but it angers me to think that people want to discover a sociological reason behind our relationship.  Does there have to be some underlining psychologically repressed reason for us being attracted to the other? Can't it just be because we love each other?

Big Beautiful Bombshells.

After this weekends trip into the muumuu and elastic store - I've been feeling more determined to prove that you can be Plus Size and fashionable. I try to avoid frumpy/shapeless clothes, I try to find pieces that accentuate or flatter and mostly I try to have my personality shine through. 

On my lunch break, and browsing various plus-size clothing websites, I came across this page called "Hottest Women in the World: Plus-Sized Edition". 


I couldn't agree more that these women show you can be a big beautiful bombshell (even if some, in my opinion, aren't necessarily "plus-size" or have conformed to the pressure of hollywood and shrunk their size). 

1. Christina Hendricks

2. Mia Tyler

3. Kate Dillon

4. Toccara Jones

5. Charlotte Coyle

6. Maggie Brown

7. Whitney Thompson

8. Barbara Brickner

9. Fluvia Lacerda

10. Justine Legault

11. Crystal Renn

12. America Ferrera

13. Jennifer Coolidge

14. Sarah Ramirez

15. Lizzie Miller

Women who are fashionable (you'll notice not a single muumuu in the batch), who embrace their curves, who don't mind showing you their thighs, stomachs and love handles. My favorite of these 15 is either Mia Tyler or Charlotte Coyle. They just radiate sex appeal and are in no hurry to change their dress size just to please (or appease) the media.


Who are your favorites? (They don't have to be listed above)

I'm a "Slut"

I have breasts. 

I have hips.

I have thighs and a stomach. 

I have curves I [try to] embrace. 

I like to show off my curves with skirts and tank tops. 

I like to bundle up in baggy yoga pants and sweat shirts. 

He was my boyfriend. 

It was not violent. 

It was over quicker than it started. 

I still don't identify as a rape "victim"

I'm tired of labels. 

I'm tired of hearing the term "asking for it"

I didn't ask for it and I've only been with 2 men. 

Yet, according to some [police officer below] I'm a slut and I was asking for it.

*     *     *

‘Sluts’ march against sexual assault stereotypes
by Nicki Thomas

In fishnets and stilettos, t-shirts and jeans, a three-piece suit and a birthday suit, hundreds of self-proclaimed “sluts” marched through downtown Toronto Sunday afternoon, protesting a police officer’s suggestion that women could avoid sexual assault by not dressing provocatively.

Polly Esther walked off the subway in a plunging neckline and knee-high platform boots to join the noisy, spirited march from Queen’s Park to police headquarters on College St. She raised a hand-lettered sign, its simple but stark message definitive of that of the protest: “Xmas 1985. 14 years old. Bundled in layers. How did I deserve it?”

“It has nothing to do with what you’re wearing,” said Esther, 39. “And I’m living proof of that.”

SlutWalk, as organizers coined the march, was a response to comments made by a Toronto police officer during a safety forum at York University’s Osgoode Hall Law School in late January. Const. Michael Sanguinetti is said to have told the room that “women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized.”

Sanguinetti has since apologized to the university and been investigated by the professional standards unit. He was disciplined internally, the details of which have not been made public, and is still on the job in 31 Division, though not working Sunday.

Police were quick to publicly condemn Sanguinetti’s comment, saying it is counter to what officers are taught about sexual assault. In a statement sent to the SlutWalk organizers and the media last Friday, Chief Bill Blair said the remarks “place the blame upon victims, and that’s not where the blame should ever be placed.”

“If that type of, frankly, archaic thinking still exists among any of my officers, it highlights for me the need to continue to train my officers and sensitize them to the reality of victimization,” he said.

But SlutWalk organizers made it clear Sunday that they are not satisfied with the response. 

Co-founder Heather Jarvis said the group made three requests from police: to restructure training and education, implement existing third-party recommendations on that training and education and improve public outreach programs, with an emphasis on consent and “rape myths.”

“They didn’t actually respond to a single one of our requests,” Jarvis said.

The group also invited police to address Sunday’s crowd alongside speakers like Jane Doe, the activist who successfully sued the police after she was assaulted by a serial rapist and is still highly critical of procedures around sexual assault training and investigation.

“It’s not about one bad apple cop,” Doe told the cheering crowd. “It’s about an institution that is permeated with these kinds of notions and beliefs.”

Spokeswoman Const. Wendy Drummond said police did provide SlutWalk organizers with an outline of changes made to training and investigations in the wake of a 2010 review, the second since the Auditor General’s 1999 report on police procedures around sexual assault.

“We have reached out to them,” Drummond said. “But wanting to put us up there and not be heard, is just not something that we’re going to do.”

Future SlutWalks are planned in other cities, including Vancouver, Ottawa and Boston.

http://www.thestar.com/News/GTA/article/968466

Brainstorming Identity

This topic is something that has been bouncing around in my mind for some time now. And I'm not really sure how to put my thoughts to paper - so I apologize if this blog entry seems scattered, disconnected or down right random.

I have been trying to do some research into being a 20-something and embracing your identity...finding yourself culturally. After all there is a difference between "country-you-live-in" identity and "country-of-ancestry" identity.

*     *     *

"Identity is what distinguishes heritage from history...we cannot avoid our heritage. It is, after all, what makes us what we are."  - Embracing Identity: Dawn Editorial

*     *     *

"What are you?" has never really been a question I was asked. I have "white" (rosy-olive toned) skin, light brown eyes and...well I've been coloring my hair for so long I don't know what color it is anymore.

Words/phrases like "dawg" and "my homie" just sound foreign and silly coming out of my mouth. In college I had friends who would think of slang-words for me to say just to get a laugh -- I'd indulge them occasionally.

Recently though I have had an influx of questions and assumptions about my "identity".

*     *     *

"...in the United States, people just weren't satisfied until
they'd put their mental stamp on you." - Emma Flack Martin

*     *     *

The woman at the nail salon (and no, not the one who asked if my sister was my daughter but her co-worker) mid-conversation looked at me and bluntly asked, "What are you?". I was taken aback, having never been asked this as far as I can remember. When I didn't answer right away she asked me what my nationality was - apparently assuming I didn't understand her first question. I explained I was English and German on one side and Italian on the other.

She didn't say anything. No nod of acknowledgment. No look of acceptance or confusion. She just put her head down and went back to doing my nails.

*     *     *

"Most of us primarily think of ourselves in terms of one or two identities; yet those self-perceptions do not take away the complexity of who we are."
- Embracing Identity: Dawn Editorial

*     *     *

Then there is a guy on the bus who, whenever he says good morning or tries to engage me in conversation, will only speak Spanish. He looks to be of Pacific Islander or Asian decent and have heard him speak English to others on the bus...so it's not that he himself only speaks Spanish. Since I have no desire to "make friends" on the bus when he greets me "Buenos Dias", I smile politely say "Good Morning" and put my head phones on.

I never thought I looked Hispanic...but who knows? My Aunt has been mistaken as Mexican before while living in San Diego. Though she has much darker complexion than I do.

*     *     *

"I've finally learned that no matter one's race or culture, part of society will always have a problem accepting anything that varies from the norm.
What remains important is that I embrace my whole self." - Emma Flack Martin

*     *     *

I do embrace who I am. I love and appreciate all that my family has given to me. The stories of mothers and fathers before me have become part of me. There is still something more I'm looking for...a connection to traditions, to ritual, to know who those faces are in the old photographs I stumble upon, to know names and their lives...to feel more connected.