Miss Representation (trailer)

Sex Ed (for Adults)

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Dating the last 4 months

I came to the realization that Mr. Hong Kong and I have only been broken-up for four months.... and unfortunately I sent him an email today....just saying a happy belated birthday and hoping he was well. I'm so stupid.

I then immediately messaged my bff in Seattle telling her what I'd done. Here's how some of that conversation went:

BFF: I told you that this wasn't going to be easy....and that it was going to be hard.

Me: I know. You're right, as always. It's not like I expected to break up with "Mr. Hong Kong", turn the corner and find prince charming. But at least someone who is local, not a workaholic, not creepy/sleezy and wants to get to know more than my bra size

BFF: I know... but it doesn't make it easy that the other guys weren't even half decent

Me: Seriously. my "1st date"...well we've talked about him plenty. Then there was the teacher and the Canadian who both just disappeared. Mr. CT who looked like things were going well before *poof* The guy in SoCal who is only interested in sex. The Chicago guy who wanted me to fart on him. And now the "local" lawyer who doesn't know when he'll be leaving Tokyo.

BFF: I am trying not to laugh, because of how you put it but you should write a book! hahahah

Me: AND THAT'S ONLY IN THE LAST FOUR MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!

BFF: I know! hahaha

.....(later on in the conversation).....

Me: Oh. and I forgot about the Australian who, even though we both were emailing just as friends (because of the distance) - just stopped emailing. And then there is the guy from the UK who couldn't stop complimenting me (but in that way of weirdness) "Me: What's the weather like. Him: Rainy but it'd be sunny if you were here beautiful." WTF? Where do I find these guys?! And don't get me started on the ones who hit on me in person around town.

...(even later on)...

BFF: Ever thought of taking the sex people up on their offer? ...Maybe you need something without any ties... just have some fun.

Me: Yea but guys in Portland are (for the most part) gross and i honestly have no idea how or where to even beginning thinking let alone doing something like that. I can't get a guy to buy me a cup of coffee let alone take me home for the night.

Oy vey. I just get so frustrated with the whole dating process. I wish I could just shut the part of my brain off that desires a relationship. I wish I knew how to just pick up men in a bar and slip out the next morning before . I wish I knew how to shut down emotionally and not need or want a partner/companion. I wish this how thing was just easier.

Sophia Loren Can Do No Wrong.

The Sweet Spot: To Shave or Not to Shave

By Ginger Murray

​Having a fetish for underarms is known as "Axillism." But what about armpit hair? On men it's accepted -- there are a number of gay websites dedicated to armpit hair sexiness. This same hair on women, however, provokes a range of reactions. It can inspire desire, cause disgust, and for many, it is the de facto badge of a feminist.

Vibha Raval says, "I don't have any hair below my eyebrows, ever, but I am not any less feminist." For her it's an issue of hygiene, personal preference, and modernity. However, Vivian De Milo, a gender queer fetish model and artist, loves it.

"I think body hair, armpit hair in particular, is smokin' hot on femme and female bodied people. It turns me on and tickles my pickle."

​Sexy or not sexy, political or personal? The question rages on, but what about the stink factor?

For years, when I was stressed or excited, my armpits would put out an honest to goodness rankness. Despite those few who were turned on by it, I didn't even like smelling myself. My stench once cleared a dance floor. I tried all manner of deodorants but nothing worked. Then one day, a friend asked me, "have you ever just tried not shaving?"

Like most American girls, I began shaving as soon those first little hairs emerged and so, no, the thought had never crossed my mind. As an experiment, I threw away the razor and let it grow.

Surprise: No more stinking. Wild. I have now become a confirmed hairy armpit gal, and those who got a kick out of my particular odor will just have to come a lot closer. And some will.

Photographer Rosie Jones says, "The most important and fascinating role of hair is to be a part of the olfactory communication. The smell of each and every human being is different and unique -- pheromones produce this distinct smell. Hair holds in itself this unique scent and helps humans to identify and respond to others. Therefore body hair is sex and is sexy. But I can't help but whip it off for aesthetic reasons."

And of course those aesthetics keep a lot of wax and razor companies in business. In fact, it was a marketing campaign that put a smooth, hairless underarm on the map. In 1917, the Wilkinson Sword Co., which made razor blades for men, created advertising to persuade women that underarm hair was unfeminine. The sales of razor blades quickly doubled, and culture was altered.

So whatever your preference, the beauty of our postmodern world is that for the most part, you can do as you damn well please. But Tracey Snyder Stone offers this word of advice, "Hair is sexy if kept neat and clean. Man or woman." Indeed, although there are those who like it dirty, real dirty.

The Sweet Spot is a blog column about alternative sexuality by Ginger Murray, the editor of Whore! magazine.

Vibrators on a Shelf Near You

Vibrators Carry the Conversation

By Hilary Howard

Toothpaste? Check.
Tampons? Check.
Vibrator? Check!

For years, vibrators were bought quietly in sex shops, and later online, arriving in discreet unmarked packages. They were rarely discussed, other than perhaps during a late-night girl-talk session fueled by many glasses of pinot grigio. But now you can find them advertised on MTV and boldly displayed at Duane Reade, Walgreens and other mainstream drugstores, mere steps from the Bengay and Dr. Scholl’s.

The newest model on the shelves is the Tri-Phoria ($39.99), created by the condom company Trojan after a study the company conducted in 2008 in partnership with the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University revealed that over half of American women had used vibrators, and of that group, nearly 80 percent had shared them with their partners. James Daniels, vice president for marketing at Trojan, said: “The idea really came from consumers. They kept telling us vibrators, vibrators. And we just laughed. And then we realized they were serious.”

The Tri-Phoria joins the A:Muse Personal Pleasure Massager by LifeStyles, which arrived in stores in January, and the Allure, by Durex, which made its over-the-counter debut in 2008; both models are $19.99. Alan Cheung, senior brand manager for Durex, said that sales of the company’s vibrating products are up 60 percent over the last six months, compared with the same period last year. “Consumers are definitely not shy about this kind of purchase in the retail environment,” he said.

This comes as no surprise to Rachel Venning, a founder of Babeland, a chain of sex-toy stores that opened a store in family-friendly Park Slope, Brooklyn, in 2008 to nary a ripple of protest. “I know women will buy them at Duane Reade, and as a lifelong cheerleader for sexual empowerment I’m thrilled at this development,” Ms. Venning said. “It’s one more step in the evolution of vibrators to just another consumer product, unburdened of its freight of shame, sexual defect and sluttiness.”

Liz Canner, who directed the 2009 documentary “Orgasm Inc.,” agrees. Her film confronted pharmaceutical companies that suggested women were dysfunctional, and therefore needed some sort of medicinal or therapeutic help, if they could not climax during sex. “It’s easier in a repressed culture to have a disorder than go to a sex store and get a vibrator,” Ms. Canner said in a recent interview. “Vibrators have been shown to enhance sexual pleasure for over 100 years now. Why not partake?”

Vibrators made occasional cultural cameos in the 1990s, with scenes in films like “She’s the One” and “Slums of Beverly Hills.” But it wasn’t until an episode of HBO’s “Sex and the City” —called “The Turtle and the Hare,” featuring an actual device called the Rabbit Pearl — that the vibrator truly emerged from the nightstand drawer.

“ ‘Sex and the City’ did as much for women’s sexual comfort as really anything has done in the past couple of decades,” said Dr. Laura Berman of “In the Bedroom with Dr. Laura Berman,” on OWN: Oprah Winfrey Network.

Dr. Berman, a prominent sex and relationship expert, also has a line of sex toys (drlauraberman.com), which she said grossed $5 million in 2010, up from $100,000 in 2005. After one appearance on “Oprah” that focused on adult women who had problems climaxing, one of her top-selling products, the Aphrodite, “was back-ordered forever,” she said. And in 2006 she sparked a national debate when she encouraged mothers to buy vibrators for their teenage daughters. “If she gets hot and bothered on a date,” Dr. Berman said about the daughter, “she can go home and self-stimulate, instead of getting pregnant.”

(Of course, a plastic battery-powered device is not needed for self-stimulation, but there is no market potential in that idea.)

Assessing the vibrator’s current ubiquity, Dr. Berman said, “Women are getting less and less caught up on an unrealistic and puritanical vision of what a good girl is. When they can embrace their self-stimulation, they can take ownership of their sexuality.”

Men interviewed proclaimed themselves not only unthreatened by the addition of accessories to their partners’ sex lives, but downright enthusiastic. Jeremy, 31, a content strategist in the entertainment business who lives in New York and wanted his last name omitted for privacy, said, “From my perspective, a woman who has thoroughly explored her own body, both alone and with or without whichever toys she finds interesting, makes for a significantly better lover.”

Kate, 29, a programming coordinator in New York who has been Jeremy’s girlfriend for a year and a half, calls herself “an evangelist for vibrators.” In college, she recalled seeing a Hello Kitty-themed one. “I wanted it just because it was kitschy and cool,” she said. “I thought it was so ridiculous that I ended up doing a bit more research and started to take it seriously.”

Kate, a devoted Babeland customer, said that at one point she asked her friends to pool their money and buy her a fancy vibrator for her birthday, which she promised to review for them.

And when Lou, 44, who lives on Long Island and has been married to Sarah, 47, for 20 years, was found to have prostate cancer, he used a make-your-own vibrator kit to make a mold of himself for his wife before having surgery.

“It never entered my mind that, oh, my God, this was bad,” he said.

Carol Queen, who is the curator of the Antique Vibrator Museum and a staff sexologist for Good Vibrations, a sex-toy retailer since 1977 that bills itself as the “original clean well-lit place to buy vibrators,” attributes more-honest discussions about sex and pleasure to fear of H.I.V./AIDS in the early 1990s, which led to frank discussions about condoms. She also mentioned a shift in published erotica at that time.

“There was something of a pendulum swing from the sex conservatism of the ’80s to the lively sex publishing of the ’90s, zines, anthologies, small presses,” she said. “Then people in more-mainstream venues heard about toys. As soon as mainstream culture looks at an issue, it becomes fair game for everyone else.”

And now, thanks to Suki Dunham, 43, vibrators also have an iPhone app.

Ms. Dunham, a former business manager for Apple, was a stay-at-home mother for four years before founding OhMiBod, a line of vibrators that synchronize rhythmically with iPods, iPads, iPhones and other smartphones. (But, she said, “Our product line won’t be sold at the Apple store any time soon.”) She got the idea after her husband, Brian, who was then traveling frequently for his job at Tyco, gave her an iPod and a vibrator for Christmas.

He later quit to help his wife market her invention, which has faced some hurdles. Nylon Magazine refused to run an ad, Ms. Dunham said. And the federal Small Business Administration denied her loan application because they said she ran a “prurient” business.

“I can sit with my 10-year-old daughter during prime-time TV and watch a commercial for Viagra,” Mr. Dunham said, “but I can’t advertise our OhMiBod fan page within Facebook.”

OhMiBod’s Freestyle :G is more expensive than the drugstore versions, at $120, a price comparable to other models from Jimmyjane, Lelo and Je Joue. Perhaps the top of the line is the Lelo Inez, which for $13,500 offers a “virtually silent” engine, according to the company, and either a 18-karat gold-plated or stainless steel finish.

But inconspicuous consumption remains the industry standard. Dr. Berman said she packages her toys in what look like “perfume boxes.” Trojan offers a discreet lavender box. Passion Parties is a direct sales company that offers products at in-home parties, during which women place orders with a salesclerk in a private room. “We don’t have a porn star on the package. To us that’s just degrading,” said Pat Davis, the company president. “There is still a strong desire for the confidentiality of it.”

The ability to shop online has surely helped the rising popularity of vibrators; Good Vibrations’s business has grown by 60 percent since the ’90s. “I am all about the Internet,” said Ellie, 32, a student and Babeland customer in Old Town, Me. “People want them, but they don’t want to go to the creepy stores with the creepy people.”

But the creep factor has also decreased significantly since vibrators began to be portrayed in popular culture. Dr. Berman’s vibrating panties appeared in the 2009 movie “The Ugly Truth,” starring Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler. “That scene would not have been in a major Hollywood movie 10 years ago,” Dr. Berman said. Her products were also in a recent episode of “Private Practice” on ABC, though they remained in the boxes. And Kandi Burruss, a singer-songwriter and one of Bravo’s “Real Housewives of Atlanta,” has decided to create a line of vibrators with Ms. Dunham’s help.

The history of the device is an ongoing source of fascination. In a poke at early 1960s prudishness, an episode in the first season of “Mad Men” featured a wired girdle called the Electrosizer. Sarah Ruhl’s critically acclaimed 2009 Broadway play, “In the Next Room (or the vibrator play),” explored the socio-cultural reasons behind the invention of the vibrator, which was to treat “hysterical” women medically, in the 1880s.

And “Hysteria,” a romantic comedy in post-production that will star Maggie Gyllenhaal and Hugh Dancy, will recount the same point in Victorian history. The plot revolves around Mr. Dancy’s character, a young earnest doctor who takes a job massaging women’s pelvises into “paroxysms.” But when the doctor develops carpal tunnel syndrome, his best friend (Rupert Everett), who is obsessed with electricity, invents a device that has impressively efficient curative powers.

“Americans are ready to laugh at the vibrator as a medical device,” said Tanya Wexler, the director of “Hysteria,” whose movie takes a winking look at what Ms. Canner alludes to in her documentary: the medical treatment of women who aren’t perfectly orgasmic — about which Ms. Wexler feels similarly perplexed.

“People don’t need doctors for it,” she said “They just need a little bit of freedom.”

I'm a "Slut"

I have breasts. 

I have hips.

I have thighs and a stomach. 

I have curves I [try to] embrace. 

I like to show off my curves with skirts and tank tops. 

I like to bundle up in baggy yoga pants and sweat shirts. 

He was my boyfriend. 

It was not violent. 

It was over quicker than it started. 

I still don't identify as a rape "victim"

I'm tired of labels. 

I'm tired of hearing the term "asking for it"

I didn't ask for it and I've only been with 2 men. 

Yet, according to some [police officer below] I'm a slut and I was asking for it.

*     *     *

‘Sluts’ march against sexual assault stereotypes
by Nicki Thomas

In fishnets and stilettos, t-shirts and jeans, a three-piece suit and a birthday suit, hundreds of self-proclaimed “sluts” marched through downtown Toronto Sunday afternoon, protesting a police officer’s suggestion that women could avoid sexual assault by not dressing provocatively.

Polly Esther walked off the subway in a plunging neckline and knee-high platform boots to join the noisy, spirited march from Queen’s Park to police headquarters on College St. She raised a hand-lettered sign, its simple but stark message definitive of that of the protest: “Xmas 1985. 14 years old. Bundled in layers. How did I deserve it?”

“It has nothing to do with what you’re wearing,” said Esther, 39. “And I’m living proof of that.”

SlutWalk, as organizers coined the march, was a response to comments made by a Toronto police officer during a safety forum at York University’s Osgoode Hall Law School in late January. Const. Michael Sanguinetti is said to have told the room that “women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized.”

Sanguinetti has since apologized to the university and been investigated by the professional standards unit. He was disciplined internally, the details of which have not been made public, and is still on the job in 31 Division, though not working Sunday.

Police were quick to publicly condemn Sanguinetti’s comment, saying it is counter to what officers are taught about sexual assault. In a statement sent to the SlutWalk organizers and the media last Friday, Chief Bill Blair said the remarks “place the blame upon victims, and that’s not where the blame should ever be placed.”

“If that type of, frankly, archaic thinking still exists among any of my officers, it highlights for me the need to continue to train my officers and sensitize them to the reality of victimization,” he said.

But SlutWalk organizers made it clear Sunday that they are not satisfied with the response. 

Co-founder Heather Jarvis said the group made three requests from police: to restructure training and education, implement existing third-party recommendations on that training and education and improve public outreach programs, with an emphasis on consent and “rape myths.”

“They didn’t actually respond to a single one of our requests,” Jarvis said.

The group also invited police to address Sunday’s crowd alongside speakers like Jane Doe, the activist who successfully sued the police after she was assaulted by a serial rapist and is still highly critical of procedures around sexual assault training and investigation.

“It’s not about one bad apple cop,” Doe told the cheering crowd. “It’s about an institution that is permeated with these kinds of notions and beliefs.”

Spokeswoman Const. Wendy Drummond said police did provide SlutWalk organizers with an outline of changes made to training and investigations in the wake of a 2010 review, the second since the Auditor General’s 1999 report on police procedures around sexual assault.

“We have reached out to them,” Drummond said. “But wanting to put us up there and not be heard, is just not something that we’re going to do.”

Future SlutWalks are planned in other cities, including Vancouver, Ottawa and Boston.

http://www.thestar.com/News/GTA/article/968466

Danger: Expectations

So I thought I'd go a bit more light-hearted this time around.

A few months ago I was tagged in an online game of sorts where you read through these "25 ways to tell you've grown up", mark or count how many apply to you and then pass it along. Normally I just delete and never think of these modern chain-letters but once and a while I go ahead and play along. 

This was one. 

1. Your houseplants are alive (and you can't smoke any of them). True.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. Sex in a twin is never out of the question it's just the curling up side-by-side that doesn't work anymore.

3. You keep more food than beer in your fridge. True. And I'm not in the least sorry about it.

4. 6:00AM is when you get up, NOT go to bed. I can't remember the last time I went to bed at 6:00AM...heck I can't remember the last time I went to bed after midnight. 

5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator. I haven't had this happen yet. However, I have been experiencing friends' band being played everywhere from in a movie theater JC Penny commercial, Ross store and on the radio. Oh Hockey, I'm so happy for you guys!

6. You watch the weather channel. Um. NO. Aside from the fact I don't have cable and can't watch the weather channel anyway but even if I could I wouldn't.

7. Your friends marry and divorce not "hook up" and "break up" There's still the occasional "hook up" and "break up" but there's a large chunk that are getting married and (unfortunately) divorced

8. You go from 130 days of vacation to 14. Now I don't think this one is fair. Yes it's true I have gone from having summers off to counting and treasuring every single last vacation day I'm given...but what about teachers? They still get summers off - does that mean they aren't "grown up"...unfair point.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up" I'm torn on this one. Here in Portland jeans and a sweater are often times considered "dressed up" clothes but for me they're casual. It depends on the environment, situation and who you're with. But I guess over all I'd have to say this one is true.

10. You're the one calling the police because those #%!$ kids next door won't turn down the stereo. Not true. I'm more concerned about the little buggers stealing things off my back porch! hahaha

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. Regrettably true...but then my family has always been very open about sex and this has been true for a while now.

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. One of my best friends pointed out that we NEVER knew what time Taco Bell closed so really this is moot.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up. N/A - I use public transit.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers. I never fed my animals people food. But yes, I do now feed them more expensive allergy friendly food.

15. Sleeping on the couch hurts your back. Yes. But I still do it.

16. You take naps. I'm totally not ashamed of this one! Heck yea I nap!

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date not just the start of it. Sometimes. But it doesn't have to be. Depends on what time the movie and dinner is at. A matinee showing - better just be the beginning of the date. A midnight showing - better believe you're taking me home afterwords....remember 6AM wake up.

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3AM would severely upset, not settle, your stomach. Who eats a basket of chicken wings to settle their stomach? Oh my gosh my stomach is hurting just thinking about it.

19. You go to the drug store of ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests. Okay while I haven't needed to buy condoms and/or pregnancy tests in a while doesn't mean that it won't or can't still happen. So I'm giving this a "not true"

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "good shit" Maybe I'm a snob but I've never thought of 2 buck chuck as 'good'. Yes we drank jugs of wine in college but that was because we were poor college students not because we thought of it as good. 

 

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time. Not true - completely. Actually I tend to eat breakfast more at night for dinner than I do actually at breakfast time. But living in such a foodie town (and one that loves their breakfast/brunch restaurants) I've been eating breakfast at breakfast time more than normal. As I talk about in my other blog serving breakfast (eggs, toast, bacon) can make or break a place for me.

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again." True. But not regrettable. My poor body. When I think of the way it used to be abused. I'm surprised we're still on speaking terms.

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of the computer is used for REAL work. 90% seems high but definitely the majority of the time.

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar. Nope. But I do make sure to find super cheap happy hours! :)

25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them not ask "What the hell happened?" Depends on the person.

So of the 25 "signs" I had 11 that I would say are "true"...7 I would say are "not true" and 6 that were somewhere in between. So I guess I'm not fully "grown up" just yet but am on my way...?

In today's world people are just so obsessed with life markers and goals one is to accomplish before a certain date, a certain time, a certain age. 

Why should I compare my life "successes" based off of other people's lives? Other people's goals and expectations. Maybe I want to finish a bucket of chicken wings with a bottle of $4 wine after I remember that Taco Bell is closed and then go to bed at 6AM on the couch....it's my choice and my life.

One Night Stands and $3 Pitchers

A friend, and fellow blogger, recently asked for friends to email their blogs to him so he could develop and build his own blog following. That got me to start just scanning through other blogs/websites. I found some of beautiful photography, creating and changing the art world, and even discovering that a friend's blog (that I have obviously neglected for some time) has changed url addresses. 

There were also some unfortunate missteps....

Including a well disguised one called "25 things to do before you turn 25". 

Now at first when I saw the title I thought, "well I'm over 25 so let's see how well I did"

I started to read... 

"Your college experience flies by so fast that you’re often stuck standing in line for graduation wondering where the past four years went...." 

Very true; and now five-six years after I graduated college I still wonder where the years flew away to...then sentence two and three came along.... 

"You vaguely remember meeting your best friend when she held your hair back after your first frat party and you kinda remember that all-nighter you pulled to get 3 term papers done in one night. But the rest is a blur of theme parties, walks of shame, and begging your older sister for her fake ID."

Now there's nothing wrong if you met your best friend over a toilet, asked your sister/brother for their fake ID and who of us didn't have a night or two of cramming as many papers and studying in as we could. 

But I worried. 

Was this website going to do nothing but encourage the image that the purpose of "going to college" is to be as obnoxious, self-indulgent and vapid as you can before "growing up" and becoming a real adult...

"Before you know it, you’re out in the real world, working a real job alongside real people, wondering what happened to no-class Friday and $3 pitchers. And trust me, it ain’t fun.... I’ve put together the ultimate list of everything we, as fun-loving and fearless women, need to accomplish before we turn 25."

I consider myself a fairly "fun-loving and fearless" woman, and while there were a few on this list (which by the way was written by a STAFF of people) that I thought made sense (#5 Confront a fear, #16 Go 24 hours media free...) they weren't all necessarily as enlightened or something I feel 20-Something women should inspire to do.

#1 "Have a really good one night stand"...not just in general but "with a gorgeous guy". They proceed to inform you don't need to worry about any kind of connection other than physical, that you can just take the morning after pill, you won't ever need to contact him again, etc. OMG!! In a world still battling HIV/AIDS (not to mention other STDs and STIs) how can a website promote anonymous, unsafe sex?

#7 "Splurge on an awesome pair of jeans" How is this something to make sure you accomplish before turning 25 years old? I'm sorry you will never see me buying a $100plus pair of jeans. I don't care if they are magical and fit all different sized bffs.

#13 "Try an exotic food you can't pronounce" Now some folks may say I'm just starting to nit-pick now. After all the website is encouraging people to try new food/things right? Well how about learning how to pronounce the food? Or while you're out living in another country (#3) you..oh I don't know...learn the language so you can pronounce that "exotic" food. 

#17 "Skinny dip"...that's it, no explanation or reason, just "skinny dip".... Now my objection to the term SKINNY dip aside (I prefer nude swimming) couldn't they have said 'Go skinny dipping because it will help feel more comfortable with your body. Allow yourself to be happy with who you are.' No. Because after all that would be helpful.

Some just didn't make sense as to why they should be done BEFORE turning 25.... "Take your parents out to a nice dinner: because they deserve it", "Donate blood", "Learn to drive a manual", "Road trip with your friends", "See a Broadway Show", "Get a job working with food or clothes", "Be bold and have sex with the lights on"...

I don't object to all of these things. 

What I object to is applauding a superficial life of irresponsibility. 

With a media-world full of news articles like "What Is It About 20-Somethings?" spouting off that we don't want to accept responsibility and are on a perpetual Peter-Pan syndrome ride of living in Mom's basement and not wanting to grow up; and with tv shows like Jersey Shore, Real Housewives and Keeping Up with the Kardashians encouraging and promoting materialistic non-consequential lives....we 20-something need to realize that real-life is not a reality show and these 25 things to do in life aren't all there is out there. 

How about adding life goals like learning a language not because you have to but because you love the way the words sound...create weekly/monthly dinner parties to share in life's joys with friends/family...start a new hobby...find a job that you look forward to going to every day...rescue a dog/cat from a shelter...fall in love...fall in love again...

These are the things I want to accomplish in my life. 

Someone pass me a Xanax.

So having posted five blog entries this point I started wondering what other types of blogs and "advice" columns were out there for 20somethings. So going to my trusty friend Google and typed "surviving 20 something". What I found would make any intelligent 20something run screaming away from their laptop.

I came across two books.

The first entitled Quarter-life Crisis: The Unique Challenges of Life in Your Twenties. While I agree that the 20s hold "unique challenges" - I'm not sure if I would call this a "Quarter-life Crisis" I'm experiencing. That conjures up images of premature balding men riding crotch rockets and offering to buy the sorority girls at the bar a drink. Sorry Ms. Abey Wilner, that's hardly what I'm experiencing.

The second book, by some Mr. Marcos Salazar, was a mouthful (only appropriate since the title made me gag): Turbulent Twenties Survival Guide: Figuring Out Who You Are, What You Want and Where You're Going After College.

Turbulent?

Sounds as if my 20s are going to cause me motion sickness?

Someone going to provide me with a barf bag?

Now maybe these are very well written books...maybe they are everything I've been looking for...but having titles that remind me of pamphlets handed out at the local community free-clinic - doesn't make me want to rush out and read them.

I'm writing a blog, not a self-help guide book, maybe I should be looking at other 20something blogs? I find my search ending with similar disappointments. I don't even get past the opening sentences in the first blog I open:

"Caught in a MidTwenties Life Crisis. Are you a woman in pursuit of sucess with big hopes and dreams? Do you feel like adulthood is catching up with you and its time to start making your dreams realities? If yes, then this blog is the empowerment tool for you..."

Really?

I mean...you're joking right?

"This is the empowerment tool for you!"

This isn't a blog it's an informercial!!

Okay.

Three strikes, should have taken a baseball clue but I decide I can't stop yet...

...just one more site...

...let's see...

Here's one. It's a chat forum for 20something bloggers. This has to have something useful.

Top Topics of discussion:

"Longest without sex?"

"Ladies! What's in your purse/bag?"

"Most wild place you've had whoopie"

"Do you still Myspace?"

And a number of topics and profile pictures of beer and cocktails.

....someone pass me a Xanax....

how am I supposed to find my place as a 20something when this is the 20something image being portrayed.

Well guess it's good I decided to go against my usual charater and start blogging. Someone has to show not all 20somethings are sex crazed, beer guzzling egomaniacs with an identity crisis.