Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Red Flag

**WARNING!! This blog contains
some language
(quotes from others) that may offend.
Proceed with caution**

Okay. So if you haven't been following (or you are a new reader) the saga of my life life you may want to read this blog, and this one...and then finally this one. (Oh and if you want a quick, humorous wrap up of my dating experiences check this entry out)

Now somehow, and perhaps its because I've felt like my head has been in a whirlwind the past month or so, I have failed to mention that a week after Mr. HK (who is now back in the USA and I supposed should now be called either Mr. SF....or as one of my bff's calls him "The Creature") contacted me guess who should reappear on my computer screen? 

Mr. CT of course.

Sent me an email saying his computer crashed, lost all his emails, and that's why he hasn't emailed/IMd me lately. Now, I'll give him that, I'll trust that this is why the emails stopped. However, I am keeping in the back of my mind the fact that a broken computer does not also mean a broken phone (when questioned about not calling there has yet to be an answer). Also, when I mentioned to Mr. CT that I felt like "runner up" - because I saw he had restarted up his online dating profile - his response was "well it DIDN'T work out with anyone else."

.... he just didn't get it. 

At this point, I'd been honest with "The Ex" about the fact I had been 'seeing' others while we were broken up and equally I wanted to be honest with Mr. CT. about the fact that "The Ex" and I were talking and exploring the possibility of mending fences. 

His response: "The China Guy!?"

Now, from there I explained that he was no longer living in Hong Kong and that "The Ex" was only 1/2 Chinese (when I first started talking with Mr. CT he was perplexed on me having been in a LDR with someone in China). Something about "the China guy" just didn't sit well with me. My bff in Seattle tried to convince me I was just over reacting. That because "The Ex" was now back I was trying to convince myself that there was something racist wrong with Mr. CT. 

So we (Mr. CT and I) continued to talk and be friends. Then earlier last week Mr CT and I were chatting. He asked "So how is the China Guy" So as a response I told him I didn't think he really wanted to know how he was doing and if he had another question he just needed to ask. (My thoughts were that he was hoping "The Ex" and I weren't doing well and the gates had reopened for him). After a few moments of silence Mr. CT has a moment of verbal diarrhea asking if I've ever met "the China man" face to face and how do I know he's not a "Negro"



Overwhelmed and shocked I ended our conversation (thankfully it was 5 o'clock and ending the conversation was fairly easy enough). I quickly sent my Seattle BFF a text message telling her what just happened and asking if I could start jumping to conclusions and see this as a "red flag"!! (of course she said 'yes')

Later on Mr. CT found me again online and apologized saying he didn't mean to offend me, he was just curious if I knew "The Ex" wasn't "white, black or whatever".....I replied that I wasn't offended by the intent of the question just his use of the term "Negro"... no response.Since then I have received a few (offline) messages telling me 'good morning' and 'evening'. 

At this point I don't see him talking his way out of this one. 
I don't see me believing anything he might say trying to. 

At this point I'm not sure if I need to tell him to just piss off point blank or to simply let this whole thing fade away into the cyber-sunset. Either way, Mr. CT's time is quickly running out. 

Thursday, October 20, 2011


So hopefully you are all familiar with The Bloggess? I have a huge blog-crush going on with her...hopefully if the obsession goes too far someone will stop me before she turns on me like Shatner turned on her.

Anyway, The Bloggess not only maintains her own (hilarious) blog but she also writes for Sexis and last week she wrote an article called A Boob By Any Other Name and I had to share it with my readers.

Now in the article she explains these are names that Twitter's hashtag #NicknamesForBreasts show. Some of my favorite are:

The old stand-bys:
The girls (My usual go-to name)

Fun to say*:
Chee Chees (that's what my family has always called boobs when you're a little girl)**

Weirdly poetic:
Devil’s Dumplings

Dirty pillows (A friend also used to refer to them as "Naughty Pillows")

Kind of brilliant:
The Golden Girl***
Bert and Ernie
Frick and Frack
Thelma and Louise (because those girls are always in trouble)

*I also heard a joke (or maybe read it somewhere on FB?) that was "I have bigger balls than any man I know. They're so big God had to put them on my chest to prevent chaffing" (<--one of the nicknames from twitter was calling breasts "testicles" and The Bloggess had a question mark next to it).

**In my family we also refer to them as "ma-guppies" (a reference to a M*A*S*H episode where a Korean refugee child keeps calling Klinger "Mamasan").

***I totally love the idea of calling boobs "The Golden Girls" until you then start thinking of them as old, wrinkly and saggy. But hell if they're as sassy and raunchy as Betty White...I'm all in!!

Friday, October 14, 2011

Beauty DIY

So I know I'm not a "theme day" type blogger.
Nor have I been a big "fashion" type blogger.


I came across two fun fashion/beauty ideas today I just had to share.

The first is homemade pore strips!!

Because I am the first to admit I am addicted. It sounds gross I know but there is just something so addicting about pulling off that strip and seeing the disgusting-ness I've cleaned out of my pours.I plan on going home later tonight and giving this a try.

I had a friend (the one who originally posted the idea) tell me when she tried it "didn't find it to be setting up... but tried to make it more paste like and added baking soda... then it got flaky... so [she] did [her] whole face like a mask (very cool and refreshing) and kinda worked like a scrub in the shower feelin' smooth and not dried out"

The second is nail print art.  

It totally looks fun and funky - but I have to say I'm a little worried about what it might do to my recent manicure. Maybe I'll try it out on my sister! Haha. 

I love this type of beauty DIY and will definitely let you know how both of these turn out.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Taking a Cue from Bridget Jones

"Will find nice, sensible boyfriend to go out with and not continue to form romantic attachments to any of the following: alcoholics, workaholics, commitment phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits or perverts... "

Mermaid or Whale?

French model Tara Lynn
A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:

"Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.

They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. 

They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.

They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist.

But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?

They would have no sex life and could not bear children.
Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.
And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I'd rather be a whale

At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn't enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.

We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.

Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: "How amazing am I ?! "

Tuesday, October 4, 2011