Questioning Interracial Relationships

I came across this "article" [blog] last night and it really sat uneasy with me....Here's the blog first and then I'll rant afterwards.

*     *      *

"Have you noticed a recent surge in Asian men and white women being together lately? Bruce Lee and Linda Lee Caldwell were one of Hollywood’s first Asian man/Caucasian women celebrity couples … and that was in the 60s! So what’s changed?

The question is, why is this interracial combo not as widespread as other interracial combos?

There is definitely a higher percentage of Asian women with white men than ever before. Why?

The above video [I took it out - visit the website to view video] was taken by video crew who asked random and predominantly Asian guys and girls “Why Asian girls are attracted to white guys”. Stereotype… stereotype and more stereotype!

According to this video, most respondents described Asian men as being too shy or unassertive. The woman also stated Asian men were too effeminate and even too short! Apparently this is turning Asian women away and they are beginning to look elsewhere.

Asian stereotypes have been created by society in general. Enough articles have been written about what I would like to call stereotypical racism in the Asian community – for instance, how Caucasian men actively seek an Asian woman because of their exotic looks and supposed submissivenes?. How many have this so called Asian fetish or yellow fever?

Asian females, on the other hand, have constantly been disgraced and labeled “white-washed” women busy trying to climb the social ladder by their own communities and are finding more acceptance with races other than their own.

So what about the rise of interracial relationships between the Asian man and Caucasian woman? Is it that Asian men are fed up with their female counterparts and that they take revenge by dating Caucasian women? (just a thought) Or just that there are fewer Asian females in their dating pool so they are expanding their own horizons?

My conclusion is that maybe it’s not that at all. I think people should be intelligent enough not to allow trivial stereotypes to conform to their preferences on who to date. Why do you think there is a rise in the Asian man-Caucasian woman interracial combo?"

*     *      *

First, I think I need to remind the author that the title of this article and the first sentence point that he is going to discuss Asian men-Caucasian women relationships....but instead talks about Asian women and Caucasian men....not the same....yes, same cultural/ethnic combination but he didn't go into the article saying we're going to discuss the rise of Asian-Caucasian relationships. 

Mildred & Richard Loving

Next, why does there have to be a reason other than people are finally becoming more accepting to the concept behind interracial relationship? That we're in a place today where people fall in love with a person and not a race? Why does it always come down to a fetish or rebellion? 

People forget that it hasn't been that long (historically speaking) that interracial marriages have been allowed in the United States....only 44 years. Think about it. How many of us have parents older than 44?

Or maybe it's because I'm dating a man who identifies as Asian-American (a child of an interracial marriage) but it angers me to think that people want to discover a sociological reason behind our relationship.  Does there have to be some underlining psychologically repressed reason for us being attracted to the other? Can't it just be because we love each other?

Brainstorming Identity

This topic is something that has been bouncing around in my mind for some time now. And I'm not really sure how to put my thoughts to paper - so I apologize if this blog entry seems scattered, disconnected or down right random.

I have been trying to do some research into being a 20-something and embracing your identity...finding yourself culturally. After all there is a difference between "country-you-live-in" identity and "country-of-ancestry" identity.

*     *     *

"Identity is what distinguishes heritage from history...we cannot avoid our heritage. It is, after all, what makes us what we are."  - Embracing Identity: Dawn Editorial

*     *     *

"What are you?" has never really been a question I was asked. I have "white" (rosy-olive toned) skin, light brown eyes and...well I've been coloring my hair for so long I don't know what color it is anymore.

Words/phrases like "dawg" and "my homie" just sound foreign and silly coming out of my mouth. In college I had friends who would think of slang-words for me to say just to get a laugh -- I'd indulge them occasionally.

Recently though I have had an influx of questions and assumptions about my "identity".

*     *     *

"...in the United States, people just weren't satisfied until
they'd put their mental stamp on you." - Emma Flack Martin

*     *     *

The woman at the nail salon (and no, not the one who asked if my sister was my daughter but her co-worker) mid-conversation looked at me and bluntly asked, "What are you?". I was taken aback, having never been asked this as far as I can remember. When I didn't answer right away she asked me what my nationality was - apparently assuming I didn't understand her first question. I explained I was English and German on one side and Italian on the other.

She didn't say anything. No nod of acknowledgment. No look of acceptance or confusion. She just put her head down and went back to doing my nails.

*     *     *

"Most of us primarily think of ourselves in terms of one or two identities; yet those self-perceptions do not take away the complexity of who we are."
- Embracing Identity: Dawn Editorial

*     *     *

Then there is a guy on the bus who, whenever he says good morning or tries to engage me in conversation, will only speak Spanish. He looks to be of Pacific Islander or Asian decent and have heard him speak English to others on the bus...so it's not that he himself only speaks Spanish. Since I have no desire to "make friends" on the bus when he greets me "Buenos Dias", I smile politely say "Good Morning" and put my head phones on.

I never thought I looked Hispanic...but who knows? My Aunt has been mistaken as Mexican before while living in San Diego. Though she has much darker complexion than I do.

*     *     *

"I've finally learned that no matter one's race or culture, part of society will always have a problem accepting anything that varies from the norm.
What remains important is that I embrace my whole self." - Emma Flack Martin

*     *     *

I do embrace who I am. I love and appreciate all that my family has given to me. The stories of mothers and fathers before me have become part of me. There is still something more I'm looking for...a connection to traditions, to ritual, to know who those faces are in the old photographs I stumble upon, to know names and their lives...to feel more connected.