Saturday, November 6, 2010

One Night Stands and $3 Pitchers

A friend, and fellow blogger, recently asked for friends to email their blogs to him so he could develop and build his own blog following. That got me to start just scanning through other blogs/websites. I found some of beautiful photography, creating and changing the art world, and even discovering that a friend's blog (that I have obviously neglected for some time) has changed url addresses. 

There were also some unfortunate missteps....

Including a well disguised one called "25 things to do before you turn 25". 

Now at first when I saw the title I thought, "well I'm over 25 so let's see how well I did"

I started to read... 

"Your college experience flies by so fast that you’re often stuck standing in line for graduation wondering where the past four years went...." 

Very true; and now five-six years after I graduated college I still wonder where the years flew away to...then sentence two and three came along.... 

"You vaguely remember meeting your best friend when she held your hair back after your first frat party and you kinda remember that all-nighter you pulled to get 3 term papers done in one night. But the rest is a blur of theme parties, walks of shame, and begging your older sister for her fake ID."

Now there's nothing wrong if you met your best friend over a toilet, asked your sister/brother for their fake ID and who of us didn't have a night or two of cramming as many papers and studying in as we could. 

But I worried. 

Was this website going to do nothing but encourage the image that the purpose of "going to college" is to be as obnoxious, self-indulgent and vapid as you can before "growing up" and becoming a real adult...

"Before you know it, you’re out in the real world, working a real job alongside real people, wondering what happened to no-class Friday and $3 pitchers. And trust me, it ain’t fun.... I’ve put together the ultimate list of everything we, as fun-loving and fearless women, need to accomplish before we turn 25."

I consider myself a fairly "fun-loving and fearless" woman, and while there were a few on this list (which by the way was written by a STAFF of people) that I thought made sense (#5 Confront a fear, #16 Go 24 hours media free...) they weren't all necessarily as enlightened or something I feel 20-Something women should inspire to do.

#1 "Have a really good one night stand"...not just in general but "with a gorgeous guy". They proceed to inform you don't need to worry about any kind of connection other than physical, that you can just take the morning after pill, you won't ever need to contact him again, etc. OMG!! In a world still battling HIV/AIDS (not to mention other STDs and STIs) how can a website promote anonymous, unsafe sex?

#7 "Splurge on an awesome pair of jeans" How is this something to make sure you accomplish before turning 25 years old? I'm sorry you will never see me buying a $100plus pair of jeans. I don't care if they are magical and fit all different sized bffs.

#13 "Try an exotic food you can't pronounce" Now some folks may say I'm just starting to nit-pick now. After all the website is encouraging people to try new food/things right? Well how about learning how to pronounce the food? Or while you're out living in another country (#3) you..oh I don't know...learn the language so you can pronounce that "exotic" food. 

#17 "Skinny dip"...that's it, no explanation or reason, just "skinny dip".... Now my objection to the term SKINNY dip aside (I prefer nude swimming) couldn't they have said 'Go skinny dipping because it will help feel more comfortable with your body. Allow yourself to be happy with who you are.' No. Because after all that would be helpful.

Some just didn't make sense as to why they should be done BEFORE turning 25.... "Take your parents out to a nice dinner: because they deserve it", "Donate blood", "Learn to drive a manual", "Road trip with your friends", "See a Broadway Show", "Get a job working with food or clothes", "Be bold and have sex with the lights on"...

I don't object to all of these things. 

What I object to is applauding a superficial life of irresponsibility. 

With a media-world full of news articles like "What Is It About 20-Somethings?" spouting off that we don't want to accept responsibility and are on a perpetual Peter-Pan syndrome ride of living in Mom's basement and not wanting to grow up; and with tv shows like Jersey Shore, Real Housewives and Keeping Up with the Kardashians encouraging and promoting materialistic non-consequential lives....we 20-something need to realize that real-life is not a reality show and these 25 things to do in life aren't all there is out there. 

How about adding life goals like learning a language not because you have to but because you love the way the words sound...create weekly/monthly dinner parties to share in life's joys with friends/family...start a new hobby...find a job that you look forward to going to every day...rescue a dog/cat from a shelter...fall in love...fall in love again...

These are the things I want to accomplish in my life. 


  1. I would also classify you as a fun-loving and fearless woman! Your perspective on what we "should" be doing is admirable. It seems at times that most people are only concerned with immediate happiness instead of working towards the big picture in the end. And it is a direct reflection of our culture.

    Who knows what 30 and 40 will feel like, but I'm spending my 20s trying to make them fabulous. In fact, I'm actually really excited about them.

    And I read something different in the NY Times article: times are different. Used to be you got married, man worked the full time job, you got the house, had the baby, and you could consider yourself successful. In our economy holding the same job through your 20s and buying a house is not only unlikely but almost comical. It doesn't mean we haven't reached "adulthood", there are other cultures where it is perfectly normal for families to continue to all live under the same roof even after marriage.

  2. I would definitely agree that you are a fun-loving and fearless woman in your day to day life. Because our society is completely driven as Laura mentioned by this "20 something" lifestyle. Most people no longer to be married or taken in the instance they graduate or complete high school.

    Great blog.


  3. Morgan,

    You are spot on when you say this article encourages "a superficial life of irresponsibility"... so true. I may have a different view on things than you, but I agree that this list you found has a sense of "it's all about me, me, me!!"

    To a point, I think we should live our lives and do things that make us happy. But I think this generation especially (but also others) has a sense of entitlement when it comes to getting everything we want out of life. Where did selflessness go? We live in a culture predominate in instant-gratification. I hope the people writing this list were at least a little tongue-in-cheek, otherwise I kind of worry what they will be like when they realize that the world doesn't revolve around them.

    As far as my personal experience as a 25 and half year old ;-), I would say that I haven't done most of the things on the list, and I am okay with that. Really, what it comes down to is not a checklist of things to accomplish by a certain age, but being able to look back and know that you stayed true to who you are most (if not all) of the time.

    Just my two cents... :-)

  4. I really, really liked this one. In fact, I've sent the link to your cousin. Luckily, she is a lot like you. Very intelligent and not a "party" girl.