First Date - Mission Accomplished?

The following was written my my way home last night from my first "first date" in forever. 

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For anyone reading this who may have a first date in their future, I have a few of my own "do nots" for you....

• Do not be afraid to be over dressed. 
• Do not interrupt her while she's talking. 
• Do not make her buy her own drinks if YOU asked HER out. (This goes the other way around too!).
• Do not talk about dying relatives.
• Do not ask your date if she wants kids some day (its too early in the "relationship"). 
• Do not ask if you've caught her on the rebound. 
• And most of all do not leave the house without brushing your teeth.

Now let me start off by saying it was good to "get back on the horse". The first time after a break up is the hardest. And while I'm glad I got it done and over with on some level it was a complete BUST! 

So where to start? 

Maybe I'm a little old fashioned but I feel like when I ask you "Where do you want to go?" you should have an opinion! 

He asked me out and just kept saying "wherever you want to go" but even after I narrowed it down to two locations STILL couldn't tell me which he preferred. I even recommended he check out the websites - this might have also helped him realize old faded jeans, stained t-shirt and running shoes was going to make him look under dressed. It was a first date, I didn't pick a place (and yes, I eventually picked where we went) with a dress code but wear a button down shirt or at least one that fits and isn't stained! 

Before I left for my date I mentioned being so nervous I could throw up - a friend recommended hitting my date's shoes and not his tie (because a tie is harder to clean). Well there was no tie and his sneakers looked like someone else had beat me to the vomiting. 

Okay, attire aside (because we didn't discuss clothing quality/expectations before the date)...can we talk about bad breath and yellow stained teeth? Can we talk about not using the word "prick" or the phrase "like African...you know not African American but real Africa" when describing stretched earlobes, using air quotes while talking about his sister's Life Partner or talking about his dying brother in a flippant "he's a smoker" manner.

Gentleman (and Ladies) let me insert this - sometimes when people (i.e., me) are nervous they talk.  Talking doesn't equal "not nervous" and thus do not interrupt your date to say "You aren't nervous". 

It is also natural for a conversation to flow from topic to topic and change direction. It is not okay to cut the other person off and say "Well back to what you asked me a few minutes ago..." It's rude and makes the person (me) feel like what they (I'm) saying is unimportant and not worth hearing. 

Yes, I have my first "first date" under my belt. However if it did anything it reaffirmed my belief in:

1) Long Distance Relationships can and are a good thing

2) Meeting single Portland men online isn't for me.

3) Breaking up with my ex might have been the worse thing I could have ever done.

I'm going to bed now regretting the past few months and wishing I could wash the date out of my mind.

First Date

I haven't been on a "first date" in I don't even know how many years. If I thought I was rusty at "dating" in general the "first date" is a catastrophe waiting to happen....and here's my chance (to either prove myself right or wrong). Tonight I have a "first date". 

I'm not even sure how or when I was asked. I was emailing with a local guy back and forth a tad and then next thing I knew we were talking about where to meet up after work. I even asked "are you asking me out?" 

I of course did it in a fun and flirtatious manner to hid the fact I was perplexed beyond belief.

But he did. And we're going out...tonight. 

In the past 24 hours I have been trying to absorb as much "dating advice" and "first date tips" from friends as I can. Of course the answer is usually the same "Just be yourself."

Yea, yea. I get it. Be myself. Who do you think I'm going to be? Have I ever come across as someone to show up for dinner in a big floppy hat and giant sunglasses pretending to be someone I'm not? Do I seem the type to suddenly develop a split personality and the "other" is allowed to come out and play at drinks tonight?

Luckily one of my bff's has my best interest at heart. I was given a list of do's and don'ts. 

Do show up early so he's looking for me not vice verse.

Don't have more than one drink.

Do wear something cute but not revealing.

Don't talk about yourself all night long - make him talk some too.

Do make him pick a few options on where to go but get the final word.

Don't worry if he's late showing up, doesn't mean you were stood up.

I think I got it....hopefully....I mean I've gotten past the feeling like a giant leper....there's no longer a giant knot in my stomach (although I'm sure that feeling will return...like it is now that I've said that). 

I want people to take note. Women can be a bumbling mess before a date. We may saunter in on our heels, swinging our hips in our new black dress with a big smile on our faces but we're just as nervous, just as frightened of rejection. 

My hands are already sweating.....

I'm not going into this with any expectations or hope...but I'm also trying to not go into it full of self doubt and doom. 

I made reservations at a tavern in downtown - classy atmosphere (no sports bars thank you) and a cheap happy hour (I may be a high class broad but I don't need to ask for too much $$$ on the first date...wait until the second or third). 

We've exchanged numbers. 

I've reapplied my face (and deodorant)....I think I'm ready to go.

Here's hoping I don't break a heel on my way through the door.