Monday, April 26, 2010

27 is not 30

So last weekend I'm standing at the checkout counter at WinCo, watching the total go up and up, bagging our own groceries and wondering how three people can eat so much. In amongst our (obvious) carb-addiction was a bottle of Merlot. It was scanned as innocently as a bottle of Yoo-Hoo and sent down the conveyor belt. The woman behind the counter didn't bat an eyelash. No "ums" followed politely by asking for my identification. Not even a glimmer of glancing up to make a quick judgment on the age of the purchaser (Mom was returning the extra cart so there was no assumption is belonged to her - which it did).

So I wondered: Do I look 35?

Correct me if I'm wrong but Federal Law requires that if you look under 35 plan to be carded.

It has been years since I was first legally allowed to purchase alcohol and I've always been mistaken for being older, but do I look that old?

Maybe my hypersensitivity was induced by the fact that the manicurist the day before thought I was my sister's mother. Yes, we're far apart in age but not that far apart.

Anyway I digress.

So the woman finishes scanning my groceries and we pay (Mom has joined me at this point).  As we get into the car and drive away the following conversation takes place:

Morgan: "Be honest. Do I look old?"(Yes, I realize this is a narcissistic question)  
Mom:"What are you talking about? Oh, did you not get carded?"
Morgan: "No. And since the law says to card if you look under 30 or 35 or whatever...I just want to know do I look old for my age?"
Mom: "No, I don't think you look thirty."
Morgan:*Long pause* "I"M NOT THIRTY!"

*     *     *
To my 30-something friends and readers: There is nothing wrong with being thirty. But when you ask if you look older than your age and your sweet mother makes a crack about you not looking over said's something to get slightly defensive over.
*     *     *

Eventually the freak-out passed.

I stopped worrying that I was dressing older than my age (although FYI fashion designers and distributors need to realize that just because a girl is a plus size doesn't mean she's going to want to wear a muumuu that makes her look like she's a circus tent).

I stopped worrying that I was prematurely wrinkling or that frown lines were developing.

I stopped worrying that I looked old enough to have a nineteen-year-old daughter.

I stopped worrying because I realized this is what they want..."they" being society that floods our media with anti-wrinkle creams, grey covering hair dye, "How to Lose 10-years" articles and makeup tips.

I refuse to be one of those women who lie about their age. I still have three years left of my 20s and plans to embrace every experience that comes with it.

27 is not 30 but when 30 comes knocking on my door I plan to welcome it with open arms.


  1. I have the opposite problem, which in many cases I think is just as annoying. Just the other day, while waiting for the bus, I woman asked if I was on my way to Berkeley high. I politely said no, I told her that I was heading to UC Berkeley. She continued to ask if I was a freshman or 2nd year. I couldn't believe that I looked that young, after all, I am 24 and the typical student usually graduates from their undergraduate education at about 22 or 23. Do I really look that young? I have even had people threaten to call the cops when I purchase alcohol. I have had them ask me to remove my hat so that they can see my face as well. Its pretty awkward when someone thinks you are so young that they threaten to call the police on you! I just stand there and say "then call them! CALL the police!" ... anyways, some people say I am lucky to look young for my age, however, I would rather that start kicking in around my 50's and 60's.

  2. I totally know what you mean about getting carded! I remember buying cigarettes for my dad at 17 and not getting carded! I agree, what's the point in lying about our age? We look good for how old we are! Why not be happy about it?! Good blog! LOL

  3. I think it's more a factor of laziness rather than your appearance. I know when working at a local restaurant I often ignored the rules of carding when it was busy etc. However, I get what you are saying. I swear if someone calls me thirty in the next 3 1/2 years I will respond with a punch. Nothing wrong with being 30 if you are 30 but don't rush me out of my 20's and the golden era of freedom and late nights.
    P.S you don't look 30, not at all.

  4. Thanks Amber! (well thanks to everyone for reading my blog but a special thanks to Amber for telling me I don't look 30)

  5. While at Fiesta San Antonio, they card EVERYONE, regardless of age. Or, I should say, that's their policy. Marilyn and I got beer at NIOSA and neither of us was carded... (I still showed my ID.)

    Age is relative. I used to say I'd never lie about my age, but I admit I'm not as easy-going now about sharing it. Others make judgments and these aren't always FAIR. I don't feel old, but there are many who assume I am when they hear my age! So...

    You're just a baby, sweetie (age-wise). But a stylish and very mature one, Morgan! I really enjoy knowing you...

    (In our family we say you're not a 'real' person until you turn 30... grin...)

  6. Darling don't worry! I am the same age as you and endure the same ups and downs. I would just like to share a couple things that daily take me right out of my comfort zone... sun damage, teensy wrinkles, and the super duper insidious darker "mustache." These things make my mornings under my halogen lighting uncomfortable and full of questions, but by mid-day I have completely gotten over it. By the way, I totally agree about the muumuu issue... even the sassiest plus-size designers are using the maxi-dress as a tent-making excuse, and no good will come of it! Down with the tent! Up with tailored clothing!