I received an email from a friend today. She'd met someone online a few weeks ago and had recently reread my blog "Surviving a LDR". She wondered if we were still together and what had or hadn't worked for us. Here was my response:
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Yes, we are still together. 2 years next month actually. What works for us is texting, calling, emailing as often as possible. Our biggest problem is the time difference. He's in Hong Kong so the middle of his afternoon is the middle of my night basically. We still make it work - he's a night owl and a workaholic so we can usually catch each other awake during my mornings and I just don't get as much sleep as normal some nights when I'm up talking to him. I think CA-MI might be easier in regards to making plans to see one another. Flights to HK are just way out of my price range lately.
When it comes to making it work I think it's just like any other relationship. You find time to spend with one another (in whatever shape/form that takes) and appreciate every moment. LDR there is no room for games, when we first started dating (as it were) we agreed up front to be completely honest and I have to say it's been wonderful. There was never any games about what we wanted from one another. There was never any games when it came time for saying "I love you".
It's hard, I'm not saying it isn't. There are days when I get so frustrated that I don't have a "regular" relationship like other people. There are days when I get so jealous of strangers because they're holding hands with their bf/gf. I've written emails to him crying about my frustration. But in the end, I know this is who I want to spend my life with. And if I have to deal with 6,000 miles for (what in the end will be) a short time - then I'll just suck it up and deal with it.
When it comes to making it work I think it's just like any other relationship. You find time to spend with one another (in whatever shape/form that takes) and appreciate every moment. LDR there is no room for games, when we first started dating (as it were) we agreed up front to be completely honest and I have to say it's been wonderful. There was never any games about what we wanted from one another. There was never any games when it came time for saying "I love you".
It's hard, I'm not saying it isn't. There are days when I get so frustrated that I don't have a "regular" relationship like other people. There are days when I get so jealous of strangers because they're holding hands with their bf/gf. I've written emails to him crying about my frustration. But in the end, I know this is who I want to spend my life with. And if I have to deal with 6,000 miles for (what in the end will be) a short time - then I'll just suck it up and deal with it.
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I saw a poster once that said "Distance isn't for the fearful. It's for the bold. It's for those willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It's for those who know a good thing when they see it. Even if they don't see it nearly enough."I think it's true. I've had to be strong and remind myself that in the end it'll be worth it. That my heart might be in Hong Kong for now but it won't be forever.
Oh man. So happy you shared this. I forgot about the LDR thing. I met someone in LV (well, I started something with someone I know) when I went home for the holidays.
ReplyDeleteI have never ever wanted a LDR thing and never thought I would do this, so I'm having a rough go, more mentally than anything. However, my distance is miniscule when I think of it. I think my biggest fear is that, while we've known each other a long time, we didn't get to make a relationship together before being separated, which makes it difficult trying to navigate a relationship without having the tools or the set up.
Anyways, I'm glad your relationship is still going strong. What's he doing in HK? For V-Day, you should write a sweet "how we met" story.