Thursday, January 27, 2011

Karma's Revenge.

Karma as believed and practiced in Hinduism and Buddhism is "the cosmic principle according to which each person is rewarded or punished in one incarnation according to that person's deeds in the previous incarnation"

There are even parallel concepts in the Bible. "Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life" -Galatians 6:7-8

Hell science is even on board with Newton's Law of Motion " To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction"

Reaping what I sow.
Cause and effect.
What ever you call it - it is kicking my ass lately!!

It started off small. Little things here and there that on their own I'd consider just "too bad"....buying the wrong size shirt for my boyfriend's Christmas gift, the special features on a DVD I bought didn't work,  I lost a brand new earring down the bathroom drain the first time I wore them....small things. Nothing catastrophic. 

Then earlier this month I got a call from our landlady - the rent check never showed up in the mail. We took into account that the holidays always back up the mail and there was a chance it would be a few days late...but this was already a week into January. 

So we had to go out, withdraw another month's worth of cash from ATMs, get a money order, drive over to her house and paid our rent. The next weekend I texted her to see if the envelope had arrived. It hadn't. My half of the rent wasn't a check - it was a money order. Meaning I was (in theory) out $440.00!!

Luckily MoneyGram has a process for filing a claim of lost money orders. Hmm...where is that receipt? After a few days of hunting (and a few minor panic attacks later) it was found, now I just had to remember to fill out the form and send it on it's way. 

Fast forward to yesterday - one month exactly since I purchased the money order. FINALLY I get my act together, print off the paperwork, make copies, buy a stamp and slip it into the neighborhood blue post office box. Done. Now to wait between 30-65 days for MoneyGram to reimburse or deny my claim. 

*     *     *

Side story: So keep in mind the story we're in the middle of "Drama with Dollars".... because of the money order chaos that happened with last months rent check this month we decided that I'll take out my portion of the rent, give it to my mother and she'll just write on large check. So I went to the ATM last night and pulled out my rent. Then on our way home my mother remembers - she doesn't have any checks so I'll need to write one for the rent this month. We stop by another ATM and I (re)deposit the money (after having to deal with a broken walk-up ATM and then trying to verbally help my mother through the drive up ATM process - she has a different bank). We get home and what do we find in the mailbox? Her bank has sent her new checks. Meaning Thursday I'm to pull out my rent money again! I'm convinced the bank is going to red flag my account, the IRS is going to audit me and I'll be accused of being a money laundering mafia member. 

*     *     *

(Back to our original story) I've put the MoneyGram lost-money-order-claim in the mail and am pleased with myself. Then this morning as I'm getting into the office I hear that I've missed a call on my cell. I look and it's my landlady. Just as I'm about to call her back she sends me this text message:

"Guess what? Your checks finally arrived :) with a note on it that it was at the wrong address (mail man mistake) What do you want me to do with it?"

FUCK! You're kidding me right? I just filed a claim that the money order was lost. Gone. Disappeared. Doesn't exist! AND NOW IT'S REAPPEARED A MONTH LATER!!!!!!! REALLY!? What else can go wrong?!

*Cue Jaws theme song*

I had to ask right. I had to push my luck. Tempt the Gods and force their hand. 

What else can go wrong? How about the wrong Social Security Number on my W2 for work? Yep, you heard right. 

For a few brief hours yesterday I thought that I had found my silver lining. I thought the Gods were no longer mad at me and were blessing me with companies who were done processing W2s early. I was given all three 2010 W2s in one day. Yay for being able to do my taxes right? Wrong. 

I'm sitting in the living room, lap top perched on my legs, stack of W2s and my 1099 sitting next to me type type typing away. I'm watching the little TurboTax calculator spin away increasing how much they predict the IRS will send back to me. I'm getting more and more excited - after all this money is going towards getting my own apartment.

....Then it happens.....

I get to the third W2 - my current employer. I look down to type in the company's ID number and whoops - wait - wrong number...what is that number? "Employee SSN".... huh? Wait. That's not my SSN number....a "1" was where a "7" should be. CRAP! 

I think - well maybe it was just a typo when they processed the W2s - I look at my latest pay stub and nope, sure enough my SSN is wrong there too. DAMNIT!

This means for the past 5 1/2 months they've been giving the government my tax information for some random other person!

I shoot off an email to my Payroll and HR Director right away and luckily am able to take care of it first thing this morning. A new W2 has already been reissued and I can finish my taxes tonight.

*     *    *

I still have to wonder WHAT THE HELL DID I DO WRONG? 

I haven't kicked a puppy. 
I haven't knocked some old woman off her cane. 
I am polite to the Sunday morning "Have you found Jesus?" people.
I donate to the VA thrift store and don't claim them as write off on my taxes.

I consider myself a good person, so what did I do wrong in a past life?
Do I need to make a large anonymous charity donation?
Do I need to go to confession? 
Do I need an exorcism?

If you know of a good Voodoo Priestess who lives in a bus
in the back woods of Louisiana let me know
- because if this is what it means to be an adult...I'm done.


  1. While I theoretically believe in karma, reaping what you sow and cause and effect, I also believe that sometimes, bad things happen to good people. In fact, I think good things happen to all bad people, bad things happen to all good people, and it's a good thing. I think it's a reminder to be patient with people. That your landlord got your check? It's a reminder to her and to all of us that yeah, some people do try to dick their fellow man over, and sometimes, shit just happens. These are stories, you'll make it through. Hopefully someone will present you with a story one day, and you can be like, "Oh man, tell me about it! This one time, (yadayada)." It's a reminder of humanity. And hopefully in your dealing with bad things happening, you'll come across amazing people who will just touch your heart with their kindness and understanding, and someday, when you're having a good day, you can touch someone's heart in the same way.

    And even if that doesn't resonate with you, at least rememeber, this too shall pass. Hope the load gets lighter <3

  2. i love what jackie said! :)

    ps. you don't want that backwoods preistess- remember what happened to Tara was NOT a good thing! that crazy lady wanted to possess people and eat their hearts or something nuts, and supposedly Tara summoned this demon spirit herself, on purpose! thank god Sam figured out how to get rid of that crazy lady for good! ;)

    that is a whole lot of money-related drama and you do NOT deserve it! that is a lot of stress! and effort, on your was practically Sisyphean! it was like everything you did came to naught, or had to do over again, or there was no point to- i am truly sorry!

    i wish you better luck! :) have you ever heard about fortunes, or the wheel of fate or something like that?