Monday, June 21, 2010

My Big Fat German/English/Italian Family

I realized today that it has been a month since my last posting, and let me tell you it's been a month of survival overload. In the past month I've been surviving a nasty chest cold (a plague a cursed upon the entire office), surviving the trauma and chaos that is being 27 and living at home with your mother/sister, surviving the wrap up and conclusion of one job while searching and being hired for another (which goes along with my heart palpitations of facing unemployment in today's economy - AGAIN), and finally trying to survive a 7000 mile long distance relationship.

Boo-hoo. Right?

I'm not looking for sympathy just more of clarification and window into where my head has been these past few weeks.

So the reason I discovered this gap in blog entries is because I finally have found the time (thanks to the cold that still lingers) to have a new topic come up over and over again in.  

The topic for today class is DATING.

A quick Google search for "Dating" gave me 245,000,000 results in 26 seconds. After all the simple term "dating" encompass a lot of information.

There's being single and enjoying the single life...being single but wanting to meet new and different people with no serious strings and there's being single but interested in finding that special someone.

And if you're interested in meeting someone(s) you have a laundry list to choose where to find him/her: bars/clubs, "Ladies Night", online dating websites, bumping carts at the grocery store (sorry that sounded dirtier than it was intended), church, starting a conversation over the newly release best seller, your Aunt Gertrude's neighbor's nephew...the list just goes on and on.

So let's say you have finally found that person (or discrimination here against polyamory) - you still have a number of hurdles to jump and deal with from within the relationship and outside pressures (and sometimes I think the "outside" hurdles and pressures are more strenuous and frustrating that the actual relationship).

Since this is by far a simple topic, and entire libraries worth of self help books have been written about this small six-letter word, I'm going to stick with my own current dating obstacles (and I'm sure this will just be one of many entries dedicated to dating).

My bf and I have been together sixteen months and have had far from a typical relationship. We met online through a non-traditional avenue (i.e. NOT eHarmony or and have spent the majority of our relationship in "long distance" mode (other cities, other states and currently he's in another country). 

We do our best to stay connected and grow as a couple - phone calls (although being 7000 miles away does put a damper on that phone bill) and text messages, emails, instant messaging...the usual mediums. We both believe that each relationship is a unique entity and shouldn't allow others to influence or determine the path of our relationship.

However, sometimes this is easier said than done when you have a family/friends that resembles the Portocalis family from My Big Fat Greek Wedding - loud, invasive but full of love (and I am referring to the German/English side just as much as the Italian). Everyone has an opinion and everyone feels like it is their god-given-right to express that in volumes. 

Sometimes though, you don't want to know what they aren't looking for their  (often jaded) experiences and thoughts behind why something is the way it is...sometimes you're just looking for someone to listen, to be there and be supportive of your be happy because you are happy.

Is that really too much to ask?

I really don't need pursed lips and rolling eyes when I say we want to live together. I'm sure those shaking heads would explode if I said we wanted to get married.

Being 20-something and dating is hard enough.

Being in love with someone 7000 miles away is more than hard enough.

But feeling like you can't share (let alone talk about) your relationship is unbearable.


  1. You can always call or email me about anything honey! I'm almost always home, and would love to help you with anything and everything I can! I love you!