So I'm not sure how the conversation happened...
Really it wasn't so much a "conversation" has a comment that seems to be repeated occasionally...
We were sitting in the living room, the family talking about our days at work, my sister tormenting and chasing the cats - when out of her mouth:
"I want a real little niece or nephew. One of flesh and blood."
...She then went back to playing with the cats...
What do you say to that?
"Yes honey. I am planning on having kids but in a few years. Once I'm no longer living with you and Mom, my boyfriend and I are no longer doing a 7000 mile long distance relationship and we've been married a few years"
I somehow feel that isn't the answer she would be looking for.
I am looking forward to kids someday. I love kids. I'm just not ready to have them now.
I am thoroughly amazed at how many people I know that have babies. People my age who not only have a baby but have MULTIPLE children. Those who I have met I adore. Sweet little faces eager to climb and explore.
But I'm only 27.
This isn't 14th century England when I would have to be worrying about producing heirs, passing along my lineage and having children before the Great Famine killed me off. I still have plenty of "child-bearing" years left.
So what's the hurray?
My mother was 29 when she had me and 37 when she had my sister. Sure there are days when she feels "too old" to have a young, spry and handful of a 19 year old. In a way though, I think that's what has helped keep my mom young. You can't be a tired-run-down middle aged person when you're running after your five year old!
I once discussed this breeding-like-bunnies phenomenon to my mother. Her logic was how this often happens to people from small rural towns. True there isn't much going on in our Podunk town but LORD ALMIGHTY there is something called BIRTH CONTROL!!!
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Sorry. Momentary political/social stand moment there... {{climbs off soap box}}
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When she said this I mentioned how while this was true for some it wasn't the majority...that most had gotten out of town and graduated from college.
Now that I write that I wonder.....
Okay. Numbers time.
Number of social network friends: 257
Number with only one child (and my age group): 12
Number with two or more children: 23
Number of these who had their children after getting a college education: 7
Okay.
So maybe I was wrong....but why all these babies?
Tick...tick...tick...
I will admit there have been times when the "biological clock" has ticked away so loud I thought I'd go deaf. tick...tick...tick... Once or twice I'd catch myself looking at a baby in a stroller and think "I want one" but then I'd catch myself and smack myself back into reality. tick...tick...tick... There is so much I want to do before I have kids. Places I want to travel and explore with my sweetie before our money is being saved for little league uniforms and college tuition. tick...tick...tick... Not to mention being financially secure and stable enough to bring another life into this world.
I'm not talking about waiting until I'm 50 or breaking some world record. I'm just talking a few years.
I admire those who have made it work. I see the hard work and dedication they put towards their families but I also see dreams and ambitions slipping away.
I'm not ready for that.
Be patient with me. Give me some time to explore and I promise there will be the pitter-patter of feet someday.
For now...someone hit the snooze button on that DAMN clock!!
Oh hun, I couldn't have put it any better. I get the "are you going to have kids before I die" speech, the "time's a ticking" speech and everything else.
ReplyDeleteIf Tom and I want to run away for the weekend we can, if we want to stay out all night on a getaway we can, if I want to fill my every evening with sports and social activities I can. We are enjoying our twenties to their fullest and there isn't room for a "little one."
To those that are my age with a child (or children) I say congrats. That just isn't where I am right now. I will be there, eventually....in about 6ish years or so. By then some of your kids will be old enough to babysit ;)
AMEN! My friends often remind me that they have relatives that have had kids at 40. That might be me! Or maybe I won't have kids. That's ok, too. I think I'm pumped full of so many hormones (aka birth control pills) that I get all emotional and weepy when I see little babies, tho I pretty much know I couldn't really handle one. However, I hear that you learn you can handle a lot more than you think once you are a mother...much to ponder!
ReplyDeleteProbably once a week I get a phone call that starts, "Are you pregnant yet?" And then when the answer is a resounding "NO," there is whinning about wanting a neice or nephew to dolt upon. Can't I just enjoy being married first?
ReplyDeleteThere is no rush to get pregnant. Enjoy the moments you are just married and still do the things you loved to do because when you have kids, they will demand more time from you and that is something that you cannnot deprive them.
ReplyDeleteBaby Clothes