Makes Me Sick.

It just makes me sick that we still live in a world where this discrimination and hatred exists. 

"In a move to "promote greater unity" among its body and the Pike County community it serves, a small Kentucky church voted to ban interracial couples from membership and from participating in certain worship activities, Kentucky.com reports.

Though reminiscent of some Jim Crow-era mandate, the Gulnare Freewill Baptist Church actually made the decision earlier this month, following a visit from 24-year-old Stella Harville, daughter of the church's secretary and clerk, and her 29-year-old fiance, Ticha Chikuni, a native of Zimbabwe.

According to Harville's father, Dean Harville, Stella brought Chikuni to the church in June where they performed a song for the congregation. 

Following the visit, former pastor Melvin Thompson told Harville that his daughter and her fiance could not sing at the church again. Thompson later proposed that the church go on record saying that while all people were welcome to attend public worship services there, the church did not condone interracial marriage.

His proposal, which was accepted by a 9-6 vote last week, also suggested that married interracial couples be prohibited from becoming members and used in worship activities, except for funerals.

"It's not the spirit of the community in any way, shape or form," said Randy Johnson, president of the Pike County Ministerial Association, according to Kentucky.com.

While Pike County and the surrounding community come to grips with the church's decision, researchers at Ohio State University and Cornell University say black-white marriages in the United States are soaring, increasing threefold, from 3 percent in 1980 to 10.7 percent in 2008."

Ready to Turn 30?

I'm not sure why I'm suddenly obsessing with (almost) being 30....?

Yes, my birthday is 2 1/2 months away but I'll be turning 29 not 30.

Maybe it's because I'm a "planner". I like to be prepared...like to know what to expect before something (large) happens. Plan ahead for any possible unexpected twists and turns.

This way, starting to think about the "Big 3-0" before it happens, I have time to get my life (somewhat) to a place that I'm (more) happy with.

I came across these "Tips All 30-Year-Old Women Should Know Before 30" in Madame Noire. And I thought it might be useful to go through these tips and see how "ready" I am.

*                *               *

Tip #1 How to cook a complete gourmet meal: "You don’t have to be Betty Crocker to know how to cook at least one decent meal. Maybe you can only whip up one complete meal, but anything beats spaghetti as your ‘specialty’. Everyone should know how to cook a meal edible enough for not only yourself, but guests as well."

Haha! I've got this one nooooo problem! I'm known for my cooking. I pride myself in my cooking. I love throwing dinner parties for large groups and/or small intimate dinners for two. I definitely know how to cook more than "at least one decent meal." 

Consider this one "Checked"

Tip #2 How to manage your finances: "Shopping until you drop or broke, whichever comes first, is definitely something that should be left in your 20s. Before turning 30, women should have a savings account, an emergency fund, and a checking account complete with next month’s expenses. In addition, knowing how to manage your money and not let it manage you is another trait you should possess before you turn 30."

Okay so this one I still need work on. (See this is why I'm starting to think about being 30 over a year ahead of schedule). I do have a retirement fund with my company, I have a checking account, have recently paid off a credit card (that hadn't been paid off properly...eek) and haven't had a bounced check in a while. However, if I lost my job tomorrow I'd be f***ed. I don't have a savings account and I have (maybe) just over $100.00 in my bank account (hooray for payday coming soon). However, now that the credit card has been paid off and 1/2 my monthly paychecks aren't going to pay off furniture from 6-7 years ago....I'm planning on starting to tuck away money for a nest egg (and hopefully not allowing my shoe fetish to eat away at it).

For now, I'll mark this one as "In Progress"

Tip #3 How to live alone: "If you’re accustomed to city life where living accommodations can become quite costly, you either have or have had your fair share of roommates; but before turning 30, if your funds permit, you should have experienced living on your own sans a friend, roommate, boyfriend, or especially parents."

Holy smokes am I ready for this again. I lived alone for a number of years however, because of relocation and financial situations I've been living with roommates and/or family for the last four years (give or take). Now it's time to start saving the money and find my own place again... hopefully long before I turn 30!

Checked and In Progress

Tip #4 What you will or won’t do for love or money: "Maybe you’ll air out your business on a reality show for a little extra change, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll spend your 30s attempting to be a basketball wife or maybe you’d prefer to make your own money. Whatever your choice, you should know before turning 30 what you will or won’t do for love or money. Understanding yourself and your limits is very important."

I don't think I've ever really thought much about it. But I think I'm pretty secure in myself, my values and my choices that I know what I would or wouldn't do for money and/or love. But I don't have a list in my wallet or anything. 

Checked.

Tip #5 How to have a healthy relationship with the other sex: "You’ve dealt with the cheaters, or maybe you were the cheater. You’ve been lied to or done the lying. You’ve had your heart broken and possibly broke a few hearts in the process. But through the negative, you’ve experienced a somewhat stable relationship with a man (other than your father). You’ve realized that men and women are completely different and our thought processes are even more distinct. Still, you’ve learned to work around the differences and how to sustain a healthy relationship with a man."

I have to say I laughed at the "other than your father" piece... but my "daddy-issues" aside and the list of "unhealthy" relationships I may or may not have had. I think I have had "healthy relationship(s) with the other sex". There are, of course, some bumps in the road with any and all relationships. 

Checked and In Progress

Tip #6 How to have a healthy relationship with yourself: "Before 30 you should know that you are worth the investment, physically, mentally, and emotionally. You understand that beauty is only skin deep and that keeping yourself up physically is on half of the battle. Before 30 you should know how to have a healthy relationship with yourself or at least on the path to doing so."

I have the occasional moment of amnesia but for the most part yea...I got this covered.

Check.

Tip #7 How to dress according to your shape, size, and style: "By 30 you should know that everything doesn’t look good on everybody. With that in mind, you know what works for your body shape, what colors compliment you the best, and different looks to don on different occasions. Simply put, you know exactly how to look fabulous."

You mean that "Juicy" written across my butt and buying tees from the Junior section isn't a smart idea? Oh.... DUH!!! I love clothes. I love fine tuning my style. And I think I do it very well. So consider this:

Checked!

Tip #8 How to pick your battles wisely: "By now you should know that every argument doesn’t require a response. Learning to choose your battles wisely is a characteristic that comes with getting older."

Yea. So we're not ending on the best note. I still have a lot to learn about picking my battles. But then I'm a stubborn hot blooded Italian woman. Oh well. I knew I wouldn't be 100% ready (according to Madame Noir) to turn 30. 

*               *               *

Anyone out there 30+ with other tips or suggestions for preparing for the big ol' 3-0?

Dare to Jump.

 

 

2nd Chance?

So today Mr. Hong Kong messaged me.....just talking about what we have or haven't done in the last four months, what we do or don't want to see happen, what it even means that we're talking now.....

Normally (or at least pre-Mr.HK) my philosphy on exes has always been "an ex is an ex for a reason"... no questions. no 2nd chances. no matter the circumstances.

But now I'm not so sure. 

So I posted a question on my FB and I want to ask it here too:

"Have you ever gone against your better judgement or personal philosophy when it comes to exes?"

So far the responses (from friends/family online) have been:

"No. Bad Morgan."

"Who hasn't? And it always comes back to bite you in the ass"

"Which EX are you talking about?"

So what about you?
Do you think 2nd chances can happen?
Have you ever given an ex a 2nd chance?
What happened?

Missing You

I miss you.
I miss you and I can't tell you I miss you.

Almost a month of missing you.
Almost a month of missing you and keeping it to myself.

I thought I'd miss you less just because you were never physically around in the first place.
I was wrong.

I manage to have days when I don't think of you...
But just because I don't think of you doesn't mean I don't miss you.

That first week I waited to hear from you...
Waited for an email or text telling me not to go...
Telling me you loved me.
It never came.

Just because I was the one to say goodbye doesn't mean my love for you isn't still there.

I wish you would read this and feel how my heart aches.
How I feel like my emotions are ready to burst.
I wish you knew how much I missed you and still could call you mine.

Falling.

You give me that look that's like laughing

with liquid in your mouth

like you're choosing between choking

and spitting it all out

like you're trying to fight gravity

on a planet that insists

that love is like falling

and falling is like this

 Feels like reckless driving when we're talking

It's fun while it lasts, and it's faster than walking

But no one's going to sympathize when we crash

They'll say "you hit what you head for, you get what you ask"

and we'll say we didn't know, we didn't even try

one minute there was road beneath us, the next just sky

I'm sorry I can't help you, I cannot keep you safe

I'm sorry I can't help myself, so don't look at me that way

we can't fight gravity on a planet that insists

that love is like falling

and falling is like this.

You Won't Let Me Go

"I want you, I need you
I'm all packed up to go
But darlin', if you love me
You won't let me go

If a love's a true love
It never runs smooth you know
So if your love is a true love
You won't let me go

If you don't say you love me
I'm gonna walk right
Out the door
And I'll hope that you'll stop me
So I can hear you
Call me darlin' once more


I tell you I love you, yes I love you
With all my heart and soul
So darlin' if you love me
You won't let me go

Hey, I love you know, I say, I love you
Oh, with all my heart and soul
So darlin' well if you love me
I know you won't let me go
Girl, I know you won't let me go

Oh yes"

("You Won't Let Me Go", Ray Charles, Pure Genius)

Questioning Interracial Relationships

I came across this "article" [blog] last night and it really sat uneasy with me....Here's the blog first and then I'll rant afterwards.

*     *      *

"Have you noticed a recent surge in Asian men and white women being together lately? Bruce Lee and Linda Lee Caldwell were one of Hollywood’s first Asian man/Caucasian women celebrity couples … and that was in the 60s! So what’s changed?

The question is, why is this interracial combo not as widespread as other interracial combos?

There is definitely a higher percentage of Asian women with white men than ever before. Why?

The above video [I took it out - visit the website to view video] was taken by video crew who asked random and predominantly Asian guys and girls “Why Asian girls are attracted to white guys”. Stereotype… stereotype and more stereotype!

According to this video, most respondents described Asian men as being too shy or unassertive. The woman also stated Asian men were too effeminate and even too short! Apparently this is turning Asian women away and they are beginning to look elsewhere.

Asian stereotypes have been created by society in general. Enough articles have been written about what I would like to call stereotypical racism in the Asian community – for instance, how Caucasian men actively seek an Asian woman because of their exotic looks and supposed submissivenes?. How many have this so called Asian fetish or yellow fever?

Asian females, on the other hand, have constantly been disgraced and labeled “white-washed” women busy trying to climb the social ladder by their own communities and are finding more acceptance with races other than their own.

So what about the rise of interracial relationships between the Asian man and Caucasian woman? Is it that Asian men are fed up with their female counterparts and that they take revenge by dating Caucasian women? (just a thought) Or just that there are fewer Asian females in their dating pool so they are expanding their own horizons?

My conclusion is that maybe it’s not that at all. I think people should be intelligent enough not to allow trivial stereotypes to conform to their preferences on who to date. Why do you think there is a rise in the Asian man-Caucasian woman interracial combo?"

*     *      *

First, I think I need to remind the author that the title of this article and the first sentence point that he is going to discuss Asian men-Caucasian women relationships....but instead talks about Asian women and Caucasian men....not the same....yes, same cultural/ethnic combination but he didn't go into the article saying we're going to discuss the rise of Asian-Caucasian relationships. 

Mildred & Richard Loving

Next, why does there have to be a reason other than people are finally becoming more accepting to the concept behind interracial relationship? That we're in a place today where people fall in love with a person and not a race? Why does it always come down to a fetish or rebellion? 

People forget that it hasn't been that long (historically speaking) that interracial marriages have been allowed in the United States....only 44 years. Think about it. How many of us have parents older than 44?

Or maybe it's because I'm dating a man who identifies as Asian-American (a child of an interracial marriage) but it angers me to think that people want to discover a sociological reason behind our relationship.  Does there have to be some underlining psychologically repressed reason for us being attracted to the other? Can't it just be because we love each other?

I'm a "Slut"

I have breasts. 

I have hips.

I have thighs and a stomach. 

I have curves I [try to] embrace. 

I like to show off my curves with skirts and tank tops. 

I like to bundle up in baggy yoga pants and sweat shirts. 

He was my boyfriend. 

It was not violent. 

It was over quicker than it started. 

I still don't identify as a rape "victim"

I'm tired of labels. 

I'm tired of hearing the term "asking for it"

I didn't ask for it and I've only been with 2 men. 

Yet, according to some [police officer below] I'm a slut and I was asking for it.

*     *     *

‘Sluts’ march against sexual assault stereotypes
by Nicki Thomas

In fishnets and stilettos, t-shirts and jeans, a three-piece suit and a birthday suit, hundreds of self-proclaimed “sluts” marched through downtown Toronto Sunday afternoon, protesting a police officer’s suggestion that women could avoid sexual assault by not dressing provocatively.

Polly Esther walked off the subway in a plunging neckline and knee-high platform boots to join the noisy, spirited march from Queen’s Park to police headquarters on College St. She raised a hand-lettered sign, its simple but stark message definitive of that of the protest: “Xmas 1985. 14 years old. Bundled in layers. How did I deserve it?”

“It has nothing to do with what you’re wearing,” said Esther, 39. “And I’m living proof of that.”

SlutWalk, as organizers coined the march, was a response to comments made by a Toronto police officer during a safety forum at York University’s Osgoode Hall Law School in late January. Const. Michael Sanguinetti is said to have told the room that “women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized.”

Sanguinetti has since apologized to the university and been investigated by the professional standards unit. He was disciplined internally, the details of which have not been made public, and is still on the job in 31 Division, though not working Sunday.

Police were quick to publicly condemn Sanguinetti’s comment, saying it is counter to what officers are taught about sexual assault. In a statement sent to the SlutWalk organizers and the media last Friday, Chief Bill Blair said the remarks “place the blame upon victims, and that’s not where the blame should ever be placed.”

“If that type of, frankly, archaic thinking still exists among any of my officers, it highlights for me the need to continue to train my officers and sensitize them to the reality of victimization,” he said.

But SlutWalk organizers made it clear Sunday that they are not satisfied with the response. 

Co-founder Heather Jarvis said the group made three requests from police: to restructure training and education, implement existing third-party recommendations on that training and education and improve public outreach programs, with an emphasis on consent and “rape myths.”

“They didn’t actually respond to a single one of our requests,” Jarvis said.

The group also invited police to address Sunday’s crowd alongside speakers like Jane Doe, the activist who successfully sued the police after she was assaulted by a serial rapist and is still highly critical of procedures around sexual assault training and investigation.

“It’s not about one bad apple cop,” Doe told the cheering crowd. “It’s about an institution that is permeated with these kinds of notions and beliefs.”

Spokeswoman Const. Wendy Drummond said police did provide SlutWalk organizers with an outline of changes made to training and investigations in the wake of a 2010 review, the second since the Auditor General’s 1999 report on police procedures around sexual assault.

“We have reached out to them,” Drummond said. “But wanting to put us up there and not be heard, is just not something that we’re going to do.”

Future SlutWalks are planned in other cities, including Vancouver, Ottawa and Boston.

http://www.thestar.com/News/GTA/article/968466

50 Life Lessons

Written By: Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio

To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I’ve ever written. My odometer rolls over to 50 this week, so here’s an update:

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: “In five years, will this matter?”
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
41. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

I Have Sex

Closer to 30

This year I'm celebrating my birthday in a few different ways. Since my birthday falls on a Wednesday these activities/events are being done the weekend before and the weekend after. 

This weekend we're doing a large(r) family gathering and going bowling. My mother, younger sister, her boyfriend, his little girl (who is turning 2 this weekend), my older sister, her partner and their two boys are joining me at a miniature golf course (or bowling alley depending on the weather) and then pizza, birthday cake and swimming back at the condo's club house. 

The following weekend the immediate family will be driving out to the coast for an overnight trip to the aquarium and eating at a place called Mo's (<< family/friends will understand the excitement of this). Returning on Saturday I'll then be joined by some of my gal-friends to an evening of Martinis & Manicures, photo booths and dancing the night away. 

 "Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional" - Charles Theodore "Chili" Davis

*     *     *

My birthday is in one week, and while I won't be turning 30 (turning 28) that's all I can seem to think of. I'm not dreading the big 3-0 but more just wondering where I'll be in two years.

Will I still be here in Portland? Will I have finally got off my arse and gone back to school? Will I be in this same job? Will I be living closer to (or with) my sweetheart? Will I feel like I finally have a grasp on what it means to be me?

I think the reason it worries me the most is because I'm two years away. That's two years of my life I don't have planned. The vague and unknown.

"30 is the new 20. Unless you're 20 and then it's the new 40" - Dane Peddigrew

*     *     *

So here's my request, to my 30something (and older) friends/family:

What's so hot about 30?
How does life improve once your 20s are over?

Faith in the Rabbi

Today I was reading through the New York Times and I ended up reading an article (opinion/editorial style) called "What the Rabbi Said".

I'm not sure what made me read it. There wasn't anything special about the photo or one sentence tag line.

Amy, the author, goes through a "OH SHIT! I'm almost 40" crisis when it comes to her being unmarried. When she talks about being unmarried later on she does comment regarding the types of men she dates not being the type she'd want to settle down with.

Perhaps her clarity of mind isn't so much that she's 40 but that she's dating the same types of men over and over and she's ready for something different in her life.

She then takes a step out of her comfort zone (or perhaps you could say a leap of faith) and seeks the help of a rabbi in Israel.

Doesn't a renewal or exploration of faith sometimes go hand-in-hand with those moments in life that make you reevaluate your life? 

She struggles with having, perhaps, put too much faith into the rabbi's prediction and prayer. Being sadden and disappointed when Chanukah comes and go and her "husband" hasn't appeared as the rabbi said. 

Then, we she least expected it...when she wasn't "on the hunt"...she meets someone. They aren't married but she's happy. Happy with her choices. 

She closes the story by saying, "I wonder if it will be because the rabbi predicted it, or because the rabbi’s prediction caused me to make it so."

*     *     *

Maybe it's because I have people getting married and having babies all around me...

...Maybe it's because I have the "when are you having children?"
question from friends and family ringing in my ears...

...Maybe it's because I've found someone I can see spending my life with... 

...Maybe it's simply because deep down I'm an old fashioned romantic
who wants a happily-ever-after ending... 

I'm not sure what made me read it but in the end I loved the story and the message.

I've always been torn between believing in fate and knowing I create my own destiny. Perhaps the two aren't completely separate. I'd like to believe there's something greater than us out there. Something guiding us and bringing us together with positive people and kindred spirits.

Whether it's believing in the rabbi or believing in yourself. Having confidence and knowing deep down we/you/I deserve happiness is what brings forth the positive changes in our lives...but I suppose a little faith in the rabbi won't hurt either.

PostSecret Therapy.

If you don't know about PostSecret you need to learn. 

Some are funny. 

Some are sad. 

Some are just f**ked up. 

Some just leave you speechless. 

And then there are the few you either connect with - or once did in a "past' life.....

30 Days of Thankfulness

"Thanksgiving" is a twisted and misrepresented holiday but the intentions are good.

If we ignore the exploitation and disruption the Pilgrims and other European settlers caused to this country and its native people....if we look past the habits of Americans to use this one day as an excuse to gorge and over-indulge in food for the next five weeks...if we pretend that Thanksgiving isn't equivalent to waking up early the next day just to stand in line for a $3 television or kitchen knife set for a quarter....

If we just look at the heart and soul behind the holiday it really isn't so bad.

Being with friends and family.

Celebrating the things in life we've been blessed with.

These things shouldn't happen one day a year.

*     *     *

I'm not sure if this is a new phenomenon that is happening this year or if this is just the first year it's been in my direct line of sight. But on November 1st a FB friend of mine started posting her 30 Days of Thankfulness and I loved the idea so I'd been updating my FB account with my 30 Days of Thankfulness. Then today another friend mentioned how much she loved the idea too and asked if I was going to put them on my blog...why hadn't I thought of that?!

So for the month of November I'm participating in 30 Days of Thankfulness (and will update this blog regularly)

Day 1: Thankful that I have a large wonderful family that even when life gets rough, emotions get high or feelings get hurt - is always there for one another.  

Day 2: I'm thankful for having such amazing friends. Friends that are often times more like family. It doesn't matter how far apart we are or how long it's been since we've talked. They're always there for me when I need them.  

Day 3: I'm thankful to have a good job. One that allows me to have a roof over my head, food in my stomach and the security to take a mental health day when needed. 

Day 4: I'm thankful for a job that let's me geek out on Google Docs, Survey Monkey and facebook.

Day 5: Thankful I work around a bunch of Doctors so when a student cuts off part of her pinky we have folks who'll sew her right up!

Day 6: I am thankful that Mom pays attention to details so she noticed that Walmart put her tires on wrong and we were able to have it fixed before we left.

Day 7: I am thankful for that extra hour of sleep that came with the end of Daylight Savings - even if my cats don't understand the time change and still woke me up at 6:30AM to feed them.

Day 8: Again thankful for the end of Daylight Savings - if only for the reason that now I don't stand in a pawnshop parking lot in the DARK waiting for the bus.

Day 9: Today I'm thankful for modern medicine and technology to be there for friends/family/loved ones.

Day 10: Today I'm thankful for the Marine Corps. Happy 235th Birthday!!

Day 11: Today I extend my thanks to the men and women (past, present and future) who serve in our Military. I am proud to have had so many of you in my family - Jeff, David, Jack, Brian, Joe, Tim, Ron.  

Day 12: I'm thankful for a supportive staff and supervisor. Work has it's ups and downs but in the end having support makes it less bumpy.  

Day 13: I'm thankful for the chance to go have a girls day with my mom and sister today. Breakfast and Holiday shopping here we come! :)  

Day 14: Today I'm thankful for graham crackers, butter, milk, cinnamon, sugar and sweet potatoes...all of which I am going to buy today for my Southern Sweet Potato Pie.  

Day 15: Today I am UNBELIEVABLY thankful that my uber-stressful meeting that I thought was this morning isn't until Friday! Hot Damn!  

Day 16: Today I give thanks for having a supportive and positive relationship with my mother. I know I am very lucky. Love you Mom!

Day 17: I'm thankful for this NY Times slide-show. Talk about some yummy pies. I have a few ideas for new Thanksgiving pies.


Day 18: Today I'm thankful for a family that indulges me and will go see Harry Potter with me. :) 


Day 19: With a major meeting happening in 17 minutes it was a nice little mood-booster to be told I looked "just adorable" today. :)  


Day 20: Thankful for my down blanket that kept me in bed until 10am. 


Day 21: Thankful that Multnomah County Library hosted Tears of Joy Theatre today at the Holgate branch. Cute puppet rendition of "Raven Steals the Sun" 


Day 22: Today I give thanks for the warm roof over my head and warm clothes on my back. Remember as we complain about the cold/rain/snow that there are people in our very towns who don't have the luxuries we do to come in out of that cold. 


Day 23: I wish I could say I was thankful for my "No-Slip" pads on the bottom of my boots, but since they failed me and I fell anyway I'll give thanks for my striped black & white Jack Skellington socks which are keeping my toes warm.


Day 24: Today I'm thankful for my staff. Different personalities, different walks of life, and yet we spend our mornings together, drinking hot chocolate, complaining about our children/partners and are able to do it jokingly and not make anyone uncomfortable.

Day 25: Today I'm thankful for my cousin Katrynna being such an amazing person and being in our lives. Happy Birthday sweetheart!

Day 26: Today I'm thankful I'm not going out to any Black Friday sales but am going to get to see Chelsea and Scott this afternoon.

 

Day 27: I'm thankful for FINALLY getting to go see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows this morning!!! 

Day 28: Thankful for the real-live winter gauge-o-meter squirrels. Their fatness must be a sign of a cold harsh winter. Thanks for the heads up guys!

Day 29: I'm thankful to have had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend with my family.

Day 30 of 30 Days of Thankfulness. So much pressure. What to end this on? I want to make it good, and not corny like "I'm thankful I don't have to think of what I'm thankful anymore"....okay. Let me think about this.......................................

Day 30: Today I give thanks for all of you - family and friends (new and old). You are there to support me in life's ups and downs. Please know I draw strength from your love.

 

 

Something that Sparkles (for him).

I thought we'd continue the "Sparkle" theme from my last blog and discuss mangagement rings. 

Not "management" but "man-gagement".

(And no, I'm not writing or reading or discussing this because I'm in the market. I stumbled across an article about this a few weeks back and just found it intriguing).

So now, with that out of the way, I think the name is corny as all get out! 

The term "engagement" is not gender specific so why the marketers of this movement felt it necessary to gender-ize it I won't ever know. 

I must be honest though. I am torn in my thoughts of this concept. The anti-consumerist in me believes it's just another marketing ploy by the jewelry companies trying to entice us into putting  more money into the economy by giving "mangagement" rings. 

Then there is the hopeless romantic in me that believes everyone should have the right to wear a visual (and sparkly) symbol of their love...and the hopeless romantic is arm-in-arm with my feminist side that believes it's equal for both partners to wear a ring (even if the tradition is a tad archaic in its origins). And I don't care if the couple is girl-boy, girl-girl, boy-boy...the proposer and the proposed should both get the chance to wear something shiny.

 

Being torn between the idea (despite the name) being a marketing gimmick and a romantic idea I thought I'd ask my (married/partnered) friends what they thought. I posted a note on FB called "To Bling or Not to Bling?" 

I wanted to know if they had heard of "mangagement" rings? 

After the proposal did one or both of them wear an engagement ring? 

Was the engagement ring it a simple band or did it have bling? 

Did either of their wedding bands have diamonds (or other stones) in it
or were they just simple bands? 

I wanted to know what they thought of the idea of a "mangagement" ring and if it was a symbol of equality between a couple or simply a money making promotion?

I was overwhelmed by the responses (not only from people I had tagged in the note but also from others who were curious and decided to read). 

A large number of them had not heard of this (supposed) new phenomenon (Google "mangagement" and you'll be given over 300,000 websites...there's even a blog here on blogspot that is strictly about the "mangagement" ring) but some had. 

One friend used the same ring she was given as an engagement ring as her wedding ring. Another female friend proposed to her husband, complete with ring. There were some who thought it was a wonderful idea, or that it only made sense because after all both people are engaged and after all both people wear a wedding ring. Then there were some who said that of course it was a marketing ploy, that they (or one of them) doesn't have a wedding band even, and then some who feel the blurring of gender lines is being taken too far.

 

In the end though most people can agree that it's up to the couple to decide; much like what the wedding bands will look like or to have a promise ring first. I don't think I'll be visiting my local Tiffany & Co anytime soon but if my sweetie wants one I'll be more than happy to bring home a little blue box. As one friend said "Vive la honesty and self-expression!"